tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post1079203188422947972..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Round 6 #11CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-90175904604453530712013-02-19T14:21:53.524-05:002013-02-19T14:21:53.524-05:00I love the rhythm and resonance of your query. You...I love the rhythm and resonance of your query. You just have to keep reading. Your first 250 is an ideal match to your query. Your characters are alive on the page.<br /><br />Oh, why does my entry have to follow yours? Yours is FANTASTIC!<br /><br />Best of luck,<br />Bonnie #12Bonnie Staringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15617661715759556106noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-84109212478423812632013-02-18T17:51:35.919-05:002013-02-18T17:51:35.919-05:00Risky format for your query, but I think it works....Risky format for your query, but I think it works. Great job! Good luck. I've read this before in other contests and liked it. <br /><br />Laurie #8Laurie Litwinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-72151797602117530362013-02-18T15:17:23.759-05:002013-02-18T15:17:23.759-05:00Amazing query. Amazing first 250. You've total...Amazing query. Amazing first 250. You've totally hooked me!!<br /><br />One tiny thing: the phrases "latest blog" and "latest boyfriend" are maybe a little too close together in succession. I know this is nitpicky, but that's only because the rest is so very very good!<br /><br />Carissa #24Carissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10594436685900756259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-85999403687505642602013-02-17T22:11:25.877-05:002013-02-17T22:11:25.877-05:00I think your query is outstanding. You found the p...I think your query is outstanding. You found the perfect and unique way set up the story. One typo: "when he’s relocated him to a small town" Get rid of 'him.'<br /><br />Your 250 delivers on the promise in the query. I get a strong feel for these characters right away.<br />Do you mean gook or goop? Gook makes me think of the sleepy-crust, or mucus-like stuff that collects in the corner of an eye. If you are referring to her make-up, I suggest using goop. <br /><br />Best of luck.<br />Amy <br />@aereichertaereicherthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00548305046663514133noreply@blogger.com