tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post1644295321822092870..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #50CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-541204760555281732012-02-10T05:49:57.302-05:002012-02-10T05:49:57.302-05:00Hey Angela! I love the tension and sense of urgenc...Hey Angela! I love the tension and sense of urgency here.... but I think all the action upfront is too soon. We need a chance to get to know Jocelyn and care about before seeing her thrust in this situation. Maybe weave in a few internal thoughts... something for us to get to know her better with.PK HREZOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11650153097981426833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-12574424997132478632012-02-07T21:41:37.338-05:002012-02-07T21:41:37.338-05:00Great query and first 250!! This reminds me a bit ...Great query and first 250!! This reminds me a bit of Shannon Hale's Goose Girl, which I LOVE. But your novel sounds even more exciting!Carissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10594436685900756259noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-17136030693497044232012-02-06T23:22:56.204-05:002012-02-06T23:22:56.204-05:00Wow! Those first 250 words are awesome. I am plast...Wow! Those first 250 words are awesome. I am plastered against the ground with her. I feel like I should cause a distraction so she can run away!!Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-75954178772285415262012-02-06T16:48:56.563-05:002012-02-06T16:48:56.563-05:00Aww, thanks guys! I didn't know this went up t...Aww, thanks guys! I didn't know this went up today. I'm kind of freaking out!Angela Cothranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09243582290698922119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-34654521756762912652012-02-06T16:39:37.153-05:002012-02-06T16:39:37.153-05:00I love your opening!!!! And I agree with Jenny. ...I love your opening!!!! And I agree with Jenny. Your last line in your query was purely awesome!Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-14265675819689230692012-02-06T14:47:11.897-05:002012-02-06T14:47:11.897-05:00Great job launching right into the action - you pu...Great job launching right into the action - you pulled me in. Best of luck with it!SStokeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03607391693287377280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-56897365076961019502012-02-06T13:28:39.871-05:002012-02-06T13:28:39.871-05:00I'm rooting for Jocelyn. Nice opening!I'm rooting for Jocelyn. Nice opening!David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-67016906679348106782012-02-06T12:58:29.418-05:002012-02-06T12:58:29.418-05:00You had me at jilted pirate princess, and your fir...You had me at jilted pirate princess, and your first 250 sucked me in. Great job. Oh and the last line of the query is awesome.Jenny S. Morrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00482342313938669366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-57250729801817123632012-02-06T12:42:12.723-05:002012-02-06T12:42:12.723-05:00Your first 250 sucked me in. Good job!Your first 250 sucked me in. Good job!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.com