tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post3325035773094064416..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: CAGI Entry #85CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-45426820660471466692012-09-12T20:38:06.150-04:002012-09-12T20:38:06.150-04:00Thank you so much for all of your feedback. This i...Thank you so much for all of your feedback. This is my first manuscript/query and I have been reworking it over and over trying different formats and ideas. I very much appreciate the in-depth critical feedback that you have provided for me to work with.<br /><br />I was on the fence between MG and YA and therefore value the suggestion to categorize it within the YA age range. <br /><br />Thank you again for your feedback and time. I am excited to put your ideas into action and take my query to the next level!<br /><br /><br />- Owen <br />Owen de Langenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-89937708325609514392012-09-12T19:14:19.944-04:002012-09-12T19:14:19.944-04:00I would have liked to see more detail in the query...<br />I would have liked to see more detail in the query. The way it works right now doesn’t tell the story in an engaging manner or tell enough to get a feel of what the story is about. Queries can be between 150-250 words and really should be three parts.<br />1. Opening. Avoid phrases like “never dreamed of” or “sacrifice everything for what he desires most” or “some secrets are better left unknown” because it really tells the reader nothing and are over used words. Don’t be afraid to get to the meat of the story. Agents want to know what it’s about. <br />2. Introduction of the conflict. Why will Damien sacrifice everything and what is the world going to war or could?<br />3. State what the main character has to gain or lose w/ this conflict.<br />You don’t want to use the word count in the actual story query, but after you do the query, the very last paragraph could be like: WELCOME TO DEMIRIA is an 86,000 word middle grade. <br /><br />You have an excellent command of writing, but this doesn't read like MG or have the voice of MG. I'd put some MG voice into this or maybe take it into YA, which would be a great fit for your writing style. <br /><br />Good luck!Jennifer L. Armentrouthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00913648987251002847noreply@blogger.com