tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post4170421290394716972..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #54CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-52919525604316013112013-01-24T14:29:19.535-05:002013-01-24T14:29:19.535-05:00Overall you have a really strong query. It does a ...Overall you have a really strong query. It does a great job of laying out the plot and telling me how this story is going to be original (“Abe Lincoln fangirl” = great!). I’m not sure you need the line about the lost iPad filled with boy band hits, though—I think you can just skip to Lilly finding the diary hidden underneath a loose floor board.<br /><br />As for the first page, I loved the Mt. Rushmore calendar and that she knows all the presidential birthdays—what a great introduction to Lilly’s quirky personality! Unfortunately, the rest of the sample felt pretty generic to me. I know it’s not actually her first day of school, but even a reference to that felt kind of tired, and I wasn’t sure why we needed so many details about how many clothes she was packing for her trip. So it got me wondering whether this was the best place to start what, from the query, sounds like a really fun book.<br /><br />Best of luck going forward!<br />Bouncer Myrtlenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-41396664495127997482013-01-23T15:26:24.712-05:002013-01-23T15:26:24.712-05:00Wow - the query had me cracking up. The plot is so...Wow - the query had me cracking up. The plot is so unique and unlike anything I've heard before. Madison James - LOL! I had a smile throughout the whole thing.<br /><br />I love how it's a historical adventure, and it practically overflows with middle grade fun. I don't have much to say about the query. I love it. While the stakes don't appear too high, it still seems like a fun read.<br /><br />As for your first 250, I love the voice of your MC. She comes to life immediately and already I have a sense as to where the story is going.<br /><br />I would love to read this - good job!<br /><br />-Copernicus (post #43)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03926485525082822436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-11008513772559401182013-01-21T19:16:49.604-05:002013-01-21T19:16:49.604-05:00What a terrific idea for turning kids onto history...What a terrific idea for turning kids onto history!<br /><br />Your query and first 250 words are so good. I don't have any ideas for improvement.<br /><br />Good luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-52561582152265624932013-01-21T16:25:34.171-05:002013-01-21T16:25:34.171-05:00What a fantastic idea! This book would be a hit fo...What a fantastic idea! This book would be a hit for sure! Good luck!Bill #66noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-10876525227053769762013-01-21T14:29:59.471-05:002013-01-21T14:29:59.471-05:00I don't have anything to critique, I just want...I don't have anything to critique, I just wanted to say that I think this is a super cute concept and I like the voice, and I would keep reading. Good luck! Virginia Piercehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588698042858650140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-37408460409332882482013-01-21T12:56:21.152-05:002013-01-21T12:56:21.152-05:00I just love this concept. "Abe Lincoln fangir...I just love this concept. "Abe Lincoln fangirl"...hilarious! And her best friend is named Madison James! So much fun. I really like the new beginning (at least I remember it reading differently when I saw it before).<br /><br />This is so National Treasure for MG. :) Love it!gailecnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08004265486129312885noreply@blogger.com