tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post5016582099772116301..comments2024-03-29T05:20:50.447-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #158CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-73131999952943229682013-02-11T23:01:35.235-05:002013-02-11T23:01:35.235-05:00Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciate ...Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciate it! Melanie McCarthyhttp://www.anenchantedland.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-31173344164001272412013-02-11T21:25:37.320-05:002013-02-11T21:25:37.320-05:00I'm going to wait until Thursday to announce m...I'm going to wait until Thursday to announce my top 3, but I'm going to give everyone some feedback in the meantime.<br /><br />Some basic query advice, I'd take out the second half regarding all the manuscripts you've written. They aren't relevant to this query, unless they've been published and you've got pub credits. If they haven't been published you don't want an agent wondering why not.<br /><br />As for the first half--the important half-- of your query, Celeste gets lost in all the context for the story. Focus in on her, her conflict, and what is standing in the way of her goal. Keep it simple. Obviously your story is complex but there just isn't enough room in a short query to define your terms, and show all your world building.<br /><br />The first 250 words are lovely! Okay. Stay tuned!Bouncer Colonel Mustardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-52398191432690145142013-02-11T14:50:35.166-05:002013-02-11T14:50:35.166-05:00Your first 250 are wonderful. I'd definitely w...Your first 250 are wonderful. I'd definitely want to keep reading this! It's very polished, too, technically speaking. <br />I was wondering if this might be a different genre than paranormal romance. It seems more like a fantasy or scifi romance.<br />Best of luck! <br />-Lisa (#170)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com