tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post6666658708925898098..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Surprise Agent Invasion #40CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-70810466407916654252012-04-12T14:56:48.325-04:002012-04-12T14:56:48.325-04:00I agree with the concerns above, and will say that...I agree with the concerns above, and will say that I found the query a little disjointed. Also, the voice of this prologue doesn't sound like a nine year old, so not sure it's serving you well. However, there are still a lot of elements here that caught my attention -- historical fiction, Spain, ghost story, romance! -- and I'd really like to see more. Please send the first 50 pages, attached as a Word document (.doc), to submissions@fullcircleliterary.com. In the subject line, please include my name and Agent Invasion. Looking forward to hearing from you!<br />All my best, <br />Taylor Martindale<br />Full Circle LiteraryTaylor Martindalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17927088375331596378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-50298864172048057832012-04-06T19:40:37.816-04:002012-04-06T19:40:37.816-04:00Why do you have a prologue? Do you really need it?...Why do you have a prologue? Do you really need it?<br /><br />I think it's probably working against you, especially in just your first 250 words. But I love your premise and I find it quite easy to edit out prologues :) Could you please email the full manuscript in .doc form to suzie at nancycoffeyliterary dot com. And if you could paste the query into the first page of the document and put REQUESTED MATERIAL in the subject line of the email, that would be perfect.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-33163260055345266182012-03-28T23:08:08.673-04:002012-03-28T23:08:08.673-04:00I really like the concept for your story. Lots of ...I really like the concept for your story. Lots of potential to create a great, chilling ghost story. I was a little confused in the query by the captain and his crew being a murderous lot, but then the captain arriving in States and going to the authorities about her sinking the ship? One might think he'd try to lay low and cover up his own criminal actions and give another story for the sinking? What did he have to gain by doing what he did and perhaps drawing her into a conflict and outing himself, as opposed to saying the fire started another way? <br /><br />Though the reason she avoids using her powers was based in a childhood event, so I knew why you were starting with her at that age, the opening paragraphs weren't the strongest choice. Discussions of fairy tales by Hans Christian Andersen might help set your time, but you have only one chance to grab your reader, and that opening para's not your best. The fact that she sees the old groundskeeper and his dog is much more enticing. Better still is the fact the other kids haven't slept in a week but she herself took some comfort in these presences.<br /><br />But old Bonney saying she was taking the girl to that particular room just to get some use out of it seems gratuitous if something unusual is going to happen there and it's otherwise little-used. Things should develop organically. Hope this makes sense. <br /><br />It sounds like a really intriguing historical ghost story. Good luck!Gina Panettierihttp://www.talcottnotch.netnoreply@blogger.com