tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post7702456302168662836..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #164CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-6595993568041679812013-02-13T08:51:10.567-05:002013-02-13T08:51:10.567-05:00I'd so totally read this! I also agree that th...I'd so totally read this! I also agree that this needs to be women's fic instead of chick lit because there is a serious matter here. I like the query and 250 words and don't have anything new to add, but I'd read on if I had more pages! Good luck hun! Virginia Piercehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11588698042858650140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-34925046534945530902013-02-12T14:21:02.674-05:002013-02-12T14:21:02.674-05:00I agree that this sounds like Women's Fiction,...I agree that this sounds like Women's Fiction, rather than Chick Lit. Really love the premise. Very powerful.S. Wunschhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01007483169814358110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-87228176097136766032013-02-12T03:31:04.488-05:002013-02-12T03:31:04.488-05:00I was intrigued by the subject matter, good title....I was intrigued by the subject matter, good title. I liked te query also, it's piqued my interest. Good luck!<br />#165 NancyAnne Bikovhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15998887990671459434noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-91449419856196980482013-02-11T20:26:05.010-05:002013-02-11T20:26:05.010-05:00I'm going to wait until Thursday to announce m...I'm going to wait until Thursday to announce my top 3, but I'm going to give everyone some feedback in the meantime. First, this is an intriguing premise! Second, love the title. <br /><br />Some thoughts for query revision: the term "viable" is a little confusing because the term generally means "able to live on its own outside the womb," so the fact that the baby is on life support seems contradictory. If you're using the term "viable" to refer to how many months gestation he was when he was born, maybe just call him a "premature baby?" Also "estranged" would suggest she's lost contact with her husband so why would she be fighting off the affection of someone she's lost contact with? <br /><br />These questions may seem tiny, but you don't want to give an agent reason for confusion. Okay… stay tuned!Bouncer Colonel Mustardnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-28404593988976773112013-02-11T16:12:56.048-05:002013-02-11T16:12:56.048-05:00I agree with Amy. I would say that this is Women&#...I agree with Amy. I would say that this is Women's Fiction. It sounds like a tear jerker. I would pick something like this to read off the shelf.<br /><br />Good luck from #173Tiffanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08353016444018036871noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-86294667894887496272013-02-11T15:56:59.453-05:002013-02-11T15:56:59.453-05:00Interesting idea. I'm not sure if chick-lit is...Interesting idea. I'm not sure if chick-lit is the correct genre. Chick-lit implies something more frivolous. I'd suggest labeling it Women's Fiction. Your first 250 is tight. I like the immediate tension. <br /><br />Amyaereicherthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00548305046663514133noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-40201600564496652202013-02-11T12:17:49.074-05:002013-02-11T12:17:49.074-05:00Hi, I've been reading through the posts, and w...Hi, I've been reading through the posts, and when I saw a chick-lit I had to read on. I really enjoyed your query and immediately wanted to read on. The first 250 makes me want even more. I think the story is very intruiging and well written. I also love how in your query you mention the three different men who are intersted in Emily. It will be interesting to see how she juggles all of this (and who she chooses) while dealing with such a serious, emotional drama at the center of her life. <br /><br />Good job! And good luck with this! <br />I'm bouncer post #160 if you want to take a look. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-51654647642205021202013-02-11T12:16:03.858-05:002013-02-11T12:16:03.858-05:00Hi there. This is a very powerful premise, filled ...Hi there. This is a very powerful premise, filled with emotion. Good luck!<br />For the query - I would consider re-tooling the first sentence to start with Emily, the hospital turning off the switch and her turning it on. Beginning with a person I think will help endear us right away versus a big hospital. Just my opinion.<br />Also, in the 250 - since you are first pov I don't think you need itallics for the first line though I might be wrong on that. Also, the para on Rosy seems a bit telling, I don't think we need all that info yet. Otherwise, nice opener.<br />Amy (#168)Spaced Out Galhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03400342724853623600noreply@blogger.com