tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post7944839057767489265..comments2024-03-29T05:20:50.447-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #65CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-44959078666073100102012-02-13T20:23:26.460-05:002012-02-13T20:23:26.460-05:00I think there is a *tiny* bit of telling, but some...I think there is a *tiny* bit of telling, but some of the best novels begin with telling (esp. when told in 1st person). I lurve it!Alleged Authorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04869021184116123477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-32297229621020020072012-02-13T14:15:10.746-05:002012-02-13T14:15:10.746-05:00love this concept! great job girl!love this concept! great job girl!Tara Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07587802105993889515noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-92130712886146148482012-02-13T14:09:44.863-05:002012-02-13T14:09:44.863-05:00Thanks for the congrats guys! I feel like doing a ...Thanks for the congrats guys! I feel like doing a couple fist pumps myself:)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-75183504701130594602012-02-13T14:08:57.397-05:002012-02-13T14:08:57.397-05:00Crapola! I just checked and she sure does...though...Crapola! I just checked and she sure does...though they are completely different. You know I had it titled Ripple Effect and someone suggested I change it to Ripple. Maybe I need to change it back. Whoops:)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-87959132982075365652012-02-13T14:06:08.429-05:002012-02-13T14:06:08.429-05:00Bouncer Dorthy, I would give you a big ole kiss on...Bouncer Dorthy, I would give you a big ole kiss on the cheek if I could!!! Thanks for giving me a chance:):):)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-64906239461191061202012-02-13T14:05:01.766-05:002012-02-13T14:05:01.766-05:00Thanks Monica. I'm glad you do:)Thanks Monica. I'm glad you do:)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-88489268852136598882012-02-13T14:04:18.271-05:002012-02-13T14:04:18.271-05:00Crap, I can't believe I missed that rain word!...Crap, I can't believe I missed that rain word! Thanks Dolphin:)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-15726195200411029922012-02-13T14:03:25.610-05:002012-02-13T14:03:25.610-05:00Thanks Kayleen, I have been trying to make it bett...Thanks Kayleen, I have been trying to make it better:)Deanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17958057331230037880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-48778835553660388262012-02-13T13:54:17.694-05:002012-02-13T13:54:17.694-05:00Good job! This is a fascinating take on the time t...Good job! This is a fascinating take on the time travel premise. I totally want to read more. Best of luck! :)David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-73774677266347790302012-02-13T13:35:52.661-05:002012-02-13T13:35:52.661-05:00Congratulations girl! Can't wait to see agent...Congratulations girl! Can't wait to see agents fighting over it :)Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-16843676165112395212012-02-13T13:18:43.052-05:002012-02-13T13:18:43.052-05:00YAY! Congrats!! So happy you made it to the next r...YAY! Congrats!! So happy you made it to the next round. Also, love Ripples concept. Great job.Jenny S. Morrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00482342313938669366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-79747208890812534672012-02-13T13:17:39.313-05:002012-02-13T13:17:39.313-05:00Congrats!
Is it me or does agent Mandy Hubbard ha...Congrats!<br /><br />Is it me or does agent Mandy Hubbard have a novel titled RIPPLE?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-55083633592155542982012-02-13T13:14:15.317-05:002012-02-13T13:14:15.317-05:00I'm torn here. I really like the concept, but...I'm torn here. I really like the concept, but I feel like there is a lot of telling in that first page. I'd like to see you rework your opening to give me the exposition more organically. Give us some dialogue rather than just the MC saying how she hates time travel repeatedly. Show us she hates time travel - show us that these ripples aren't just minor incidents. You're in. But take a close look at your first page.Bouncer Dorothynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-38553308557459558412012-02-13T13:02:34.034-05:002012-02-13T13:02:34.034-05:00I think this is so cool! I love the premise and th...I think this is so cool! I love the premise and the voice :)Angela Cothranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09243582290698922119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-39144030016717913212012-02-13T12:08:18.186-05:002012-02-13T12:08:18.186-05:00I LOVE the changes you've made!!!!!
<3333I LOVE the changes you've made!!!!! <br /><3333Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00482654021641010175noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-68337800287932362562012-02-13T11:43:45.398-05:002012-02-13T11:43:45.398-05:00I agree with Kelley! You've got some awesome v...I agree with Kelley! You've got some awesome voice in that first page. I can totally hear your mc talking to me. Love it!!!Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-2319699281392920262012-02-13T09:22:51.011-05:002012-02-13T09:22:51.011-05:00Ah! LOVE the idea of this. And those first 250??? ...Ah! LOVE the idea of this. And those first 250??? MORE PLEASE!!!Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-78442264293681299592012-02-13T08:42:39.338-05:002012-02-13T08:42:39.338-05:00I like the first line of the query. It grabs your ...I like the first line of the query. It grabs your attention. The rest of the query holds what sounds like an exciting story in it but maybe needs to be redone to lose some confusion. I think any time you use words that the reader is unfamiliar with - like The Protectorate - it runs the risk of causing that confusion. I think the same could be said for the opening paragraph where she takes in "the massive Clandestine." I think you need to be cautious about throwing that in right off the bat. One note - I think when she says luck "wiil reign down on me" you mean "rain"? BUt, anyway, the concept itself sounds interesting to me and I think if you eliminate some of the confusing elements that get in the way of the story you will have something really fine.Happy Dolphinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-84104131667145585992012-02-12T22:31:09.135-05:002012-02-12T22:31:09.135-05:00I remember reading a different version of this que...I remember reading a different version of this query somewhere else. This one is so much stronger. It really gives great voice and a good idea of what is going on in the story.Kayeleen Hamblinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07652280450104899423noreply@blogger.com