tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post8243608822607892121..comments2024-03-20T07:22:57.464-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #67CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-10203655665122626652012-02-14T20:03:06.164-05:002012-02-14T20:03:06.164-05:00Congrats! It's obvious from the writing you...Congrats! It's obvious from the writing you're a strong story-teller and this story begs the reader to be engrossed. I especially love the "cross between" description! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-89855018028750635542012-02-14T13:17:57.484-05:002012-02-14T13:17:57.484-05:00Thanks everyone! I'm so excited!!!Thanks everyone! I'm so excited!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-79860151785722975712012-02-14T11:25:44.830-05:002012-02-14T11:25:44.830-05:00All right! Way to go, Stray! Good luck next week! ...All right! Way to go, Stray! Good luck next week! :)David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-40900093470421337912012-02-13T23:49:20.992-05:002012-02-13T23:49:20.992-05:00Yay! Congrats on making it through to next round!!...Yay! Congrats on making it through to next round!!Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-69888271671006750982012-02-13T22:41:03.194-05:002012-02-13T22:41:03.194-05:00I like your premise a lot, and your query hooked m...I like your premise a lot, and your query hooked me. The first 250 pages? Not so much. You may have already heard this, but to start with a dream sequence may get some yawns...even so, I'm passing you on to the next round. Good luck! You're in!Bouncer Iheartbooksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-49629784644472501012012-02-13T21:01:26.020-05:002012-02-13T21:01:26.020-05:00Your query and premise sold me. Your first 250? ...Your query and premise sold me. Your first 250? Not so much. You've probably heard it before, but starting with a dream sequence can get the yawn, so you might want to consider revising. ;) Even so, you're in! Good luck!Bouncer Iheartbooksnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-36253276274675765432012-02-13T13:44:29.640-05:002012-02-13T13:44:29.640-05:00Now THAT is a concept I would want to read more ab...Now THAT is a concept I would want to read more about. Who would have thought that being a fairy godmother is a kind of punishment? Excellent entry. Best of luck!David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-86026456704966955052012-02-13T13:43:58.267-05:002012-02-13T13:43:58.267-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.David P. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17259276981865439853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-23905698903525629872012-02-13T12:41:34.716-05:002012-02-13T12:41:34.716-05:00Love the darkness in this!
The only thing I would ...Love the darkness in this!<br />The only thing I would suggest for the query is to move the first paragraph towards the end. Then you'll hit the ground running. :)<br />Good luck!Carmenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01502915116446772081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-39264094918000214042012-02-13T12:24:32.332-05:002012-02-13T12:24:32.332-05:00Oh ya! I would TOTALLY read this!Oh ya! I would TOTALLY read this!Angela Cothranhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09243582290698922119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-35237634028224094612012-02-13T12:01:39.334-05:002012-02-13T12:01:39.334-05:00The query really makes me want to read more. AND t...The query really makes me want to read more. AND the first 250 are so powerful. Great job and good luck!Jenny S. Morrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00482342313938669366noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-37015414833074773872012-02-13T12:00:22.726-05:002012-02-13T12:00:22.726-05:00Ooo, I like this one. I want to keep reading :)Ooo, I like this one. I want to keep reading :)Kelley Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06373650788799372118noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-17986993066510412302012-02-13T11:57:49.832-05:002012-02-13T11:57:49.832-05:00Holy poo! Chills! This was really great! Good luck...Holy poo! Chills! This was really great! Good luck!Cassie Maehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17706774393186819619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-45587637860311201342012-02-13T10:00:07.806-05:002012-02-13T10:00:07.806-05:00Pretty strong writing in the first 250. That was a...Pretty strong writing in the first 250. That was a powerful and effective image. Given what I know from the query, I like that it maybe foreshadows her involvement with the gardener. Good stuff. I think maybe the query could be tightned to eliminate things that aren't necessary at that stage - like being chaste. It just makes you ask why when that isn't important at that stage. Again, the writing was very strong.Happy Dolphinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-60786280773189487672012-02-12T22:21:54.140-05:002012-02-12T22:21:54.140-05:00I loved your query and your first 250 absolutely l...I loved your query and your first 250 absolutely leave me wanting to read more. Good luck!!Megan Dolanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07672065144005028628noreply@blogger.com