tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post4531252514766081338..comments2024-03-29T05:20:50.447-04:00Comments on Cupid's Literary Connection: Bouncer Post #88CUPIDhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01726782711068858241noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-10886739821733005672013-01-30T17:11:53.436-05:002013-01-30T17:11:53.436-05:00Thanks for your suggestions, Resolution and Angie!...Thanks for your suggestions, Resolution and Angie! I'll have to tighten my thinking cap and try, try again...Bonniehttp://bonniestaring.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-27026308219188122262013-01-29T22:50:40.516-05:002013-01-29T22:50:40.516-05:00I really like the idea of the Beast as the flower....I really like the idea of the Beast as the flower. What a great twist! I agree with Suja and Resolution though, the query does need a bit more information to entice me to read more. I enjoyed the first 250. I can relate to a girl who equates organized sports with torture. My only nit picks is I felt like 'my two best friends at Oakridge High' interrupted that sentence with a clunky infodump and also, I'm sure you've heard this before, opening with dialogue isn't usually the best way to go. Good luck!Angiehttp://www.answeringthewhatif.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-29821254037618676282013-01-29T18:42:33.994-05:002013-01-29T18:42:33.994-05:00Bonnie, I agree with Suja (you are very smart, Suj...Bonnie, I agree with Suja (you are very smart, Suja): I was intrigued by the idea of retelling Beauty and the Beast, but the query doesn't say enough. Mom and friends are mentioned in the second paragraph but not the first. I think you've got something here, though.Resolutionnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-68832034436867520442013-01-29T00:30:46.209-05:002013-01-29T00:30:46.209-05:00Thanks so much, Suja!
You're absolutely righ...Thanks so much, Suja! <br /><br />You're absolutely right about my lack of query. Ack! It's like I left the house without looking in the mirror. ;) <br /><br />Good luck with your entry!<br />Bonniehttp://bonniestaring.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3349220550249399644.post-18129573115075753012013-01-28T21:25:38.372-05:002013-01-28T21:25:38.372-05:00I thought I posted a comment earlier. Got lost in ...I thought I posted a comment earlier. Got lost in space, probably. Anyhow, here goes.<br />Your 250 is what hooked me right in. The voice is great. I can see those characters as if in a movie. The MC is likable. The humor is great. But I'm lost with the query. It reads more like a pitch, one I really like. But as a query, I don't get a feel of the stakes. The words 'horrible secret', 'expose the truth' - are sort of vague. Being more specific without cluttering would help draw us in. With the voice in that 250, I'd love to read this book. Bets of luck.<br /><br />#72Sujahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16899054126546663789noreply@blogger.com