Bouncer Post #121

Title: WATCH OF NIGHT

Genre: YA Light Sci-Fi

Word Count: 101, 000

Query:

Seventeen-year-old Carina should be happy about winning the lottery, but the prize isn’t exactly something to cheer about—it’s a one-way ticket to Mars. As if leaving everything she knows isn’t bad enough, now she’s forced to wear a uniform, train for a life she didn’t ask for, and even swear off dating until they’re settled on the Red Planet. Never mind the fact that the mission is fraught with risks and she’s just plain terrified of outer space.

Life at the Mars Prep Colony in Antarctica is anything but stellar, a constant reminder of all she’s lost. But just as she’s about to begin the testing that will determine her assigned vocation, unexpected twists upset her regimented life—the blow of personal tragedy and the rush of new romance. Routine turns to risk when she meets and falls for completely off-limits Galen. All of the lies and sneaking around could cost her a good vocation or worse, jeopardize her family’s position on the mission.

As zero hour approaches, Carina discovers the mission leaders have secrets of their own—and what they’re hiding affects the entire mission. No longer certain who to trust, escape becomes an increasingly appealing option. With so many of her choices stripped from her, she finds she still has a very important one: she can go through with the launch despite what she’s learned or risk everything for a chance at the life she wants before time runs out.

First 250:

Might as well live underground. Buried alive. It’s not like I have a life anymore.

Callum waves the pamphlet around in front of me, his words echoing in my mind: “They’ve already sent a team of builders to Mars to get the colony there ready. Sounds like it’ll be a lot like the colony here but mostly underground.” He fails to recognize my expression for what it is—pure, unadulterated disinterest—as he points out the supposedly matching diagrams. I don’t bother looking.

“So what you’re saying is it’ll suck crud too?”

“Carina.” My mother’s voice is calm, but there’s a ripple of impatience there as well.

My brother is practically vibrating he’s so excited. Given that he’s mashed up against me, this only adds to my nausea. His long, bony legs bounce up and down as he reads aloud from the Hyperion Mission information packet. For, like, the millionth time since receiving it. I almost have the thing memorized from listening to him babble nonstop about it.

“Says here that the Mars Prep Colony is a former research station they redesigned for this mission and it’ll be used for future Mars missions going forward.” Future missions? Are they planning on failing this time around? Ugh. As if I didn’t already feel like a guinea pig.

“You don’t say.” I don’t even try to hide my lack of enthusiasm, exhaling and turning my eyes toward the window. We may be twins but our opinions on this couldn’t be more dissimilar.

Bouncer Post #120

Title: A NEW WAY TO DIE

Genre: Adult Thriller

Word Count: 75,000

Query:

Jimmy Marrone is a New York City Homicide Detective assigned to the 20^th Precinct on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. In a setting where Central Park, Lincoln Center and even the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade come under his jurisdiction, he is swept into the hunt for an extremely meticulous, imaginative killer who has mastered one of the most violent video games on the Internet and brought his game out into the street.

With the first victim being the young fiancé of the game designer, and the body count rising more quickly than they can hope to respond, Jimmy and his partner Deech Rosselli need to discover how the victims are selected and possibly even connected if they hope to put an end to the violence. 

With the murders being conducted in secure buildings, in moving cars in broad daylight and with victims being chosen from what seems to be totally at random, Jimmy and Deech find themselves on the dangerous path taking them into the mind of the killer who is crying out for his fifteen minutes of fame.  As questions arise to the killer’s ability to access the victims the detectives find a clue that is tied to the fate of the investigation and once again bring them back to the game. 

It is all about the game.

A NEW WAY TO DIE is my debut.  It is a 75,000-word Thriller.

First 250:

From the moment he heard the bell signaling the arrival of the elevator, his eyes locked on the doors.  He had waited for hours outside her building, and when he finally saw the light in her office darken, he knew it would be only minutes before she was stepping off the elevator to get to her car.  Almost instinctively, he re-adjusted the mask that covered his face, and slipped on a pair of latex gloves, pulling them tight so they wouldn’t fall off during the madness.

       

Silently, the doors slid open and a second or two passed before the pretty blond stepped from the car.  Traces of light from the low wattage bulbs made her hair glisten, an iridescent halo marking the prey as she paused on the cement pad before venturing out into the darkness.

            

He selected her because she fit the profile perfectly.  A powerful attorney, immersed in an extremely high-profile case, this one promised the front page the moment they discovered the body.  And then, there were the other advantages, the one he had managed to discover through the hours spent outside her bedroom window, late at night, at the moment she felt the most comfortable and the most secure.  The long golden hair pulled tightly back from her face during the day, but allowed to fall down past her shoulders at night; the voluptuous, firm body hidden carefully underneath the business suit, and the long, shapely legs that nothing could manage to hide.

            

His eyes stayed on her.  Riveted.  His breathing mirrored hers as he tried to limit the possibility of her sensing something was wrong and suddenly getting away.

Bouncer Post #119

Title: REINVENTING DOROTHY WEIL

Genre: YA Contemporary

Word Count: 65,000

Query:

16-year-old Dorothy Weil knows there’s something worse than being seen as a loser: not being seen at all. Her social anxiety disorder makes it nearly impossible to make friends, and her parents don’t even bother to ask her opinion when her dad decides to take a six-month sabbatical in London. But when Dorothy’s therapist suggests that she use the opportunity to reinvent herself, something inside of Dorothy clicks.

In London, Dorothy introduces herself as Kenzie, the name of the most popular girl in school back home. And somehow, pretending to be Kenzie allows Dorothy to become the person she’s always wanted to be: popular, funny, outgoing. Then Dorothy’s father decides to tutor a freshman at the university, Jonathon North, and it’s as if he can see right through Kenzie’s shiny exterior to the dull girl underneath. Even worse, Dorothy finds herself caring what Jonathon thinks of her.

When Dorothy is caught in the middle of a violent protest, her father sends Jonathon to rescue her. But when the tables turn and Dorothy ends up saving Jonathon, she unintentionally exposes her true self in the process. Now she must choose between the good opinion of everyone she’s worked so hard to fool and the one opinion that really matters: her own.

REINVENTING DOROTHY WEIL is a 65,000-word contemporary YA novel. I have personally battled social anxiety disorder, the most common anxiety disorder among teens and adults, and I believe many teens will relate to Dorothy’s struggle. In addition to my work at the consulate general in Yekaterinburg, Russia, I volunteer for a book club for Russian high school students. I have written and edited professionally for several newspapers, magazines and websites (most recently at the Marine Corps magazine Leatherneck), and I have a Master’s degree from the University of London.

First 250:

Dorothy stared at the essay question in front of her and laughed.

Q: If you could have any of the following super powers, which would it be and why?

A) Invisibility

B) Telepathy

C) The ability to fly

D) Time travel

The question was supposed to be fun. It was the freebie at the end of every English test, ten points that guaranteed even the biggest slacker wouldn’t get a zero. She should just pick one, write a quick essay, and turn it in. But for someone who overanalyzed everything, nothing was ever that simple.

Invisibility. Dorothy didn’t need a super power for that; she’d spent most of her life perfecting the art of invisibility. The only benefit to it—aside from avoiding unwanted attention (and for Dorothy, all attention was unwanted)—was that you got to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations, which brought her to telepathy. You didn’t need to eavesdrop if you could read minds, and you didn’t need to read minds if you were invisible. People seemed to forget that Dorothy was present most of the time, which meant she overheard more conversations than she wanted to.

She knew the approximate bra size of every girl in the junior class, thanks to her seat next to two football players in History. She knew who’d lost their virginity at Homecoming, who was doing drugs, whose parents were going through a messy divorce, and who had a you-know-what the size of a cocktail weenie.

Bouncer Post #118

Title: THE CITADEL   

Genre: YA Dystopia                                                                                                   

Word Count: 74,000

Query:

Fourteen-year-old Quinn is brain-washed. He’s 99% positive that the Citadel is perfect, that it knows what’s best for its citizens. But that 1% nagging, constant uncertainty is the source of stomach upset that would usually be reserved for old, sick people. As he struggles to either resolve or ignore his doubt and accept the Citadel’s flawlessness, Quinn makes discoveries that would cause even the devil to hide in his grave.

As a spy-in-training, Quinn must prove his reliability by reporting citizens that speak against the Citadel—the government of Sulta. As a prodigy, his efficiency is noticed: once he turns in the names of dissidents, they vanish. Quinn has no idea where they disappear to or what happens to them, but he becomes determined to find out.

When he begins to ask too many questions about the fate of his former friends, neighbors and acquaintances, Quinn becomes a danger to Sulta’s leaders who will not have their power questioned. Now Quinn must use those same abilities to unravel the Citadel’s mysteries before it is too late—before he vanishes into thin air as the Citadel’s newest target.

First 250:

Two dark-suited men slowly walked along the sidewalk. The gloom of the fog provided perfect cover for the job they needed to complete. They did not speak to each other. Official business always made them a bit jumpy, but they were prepared to do their job, and they did it well. They had done it hundreds of times before. This time would be no different.

A pretty eighteen-year-old girl woke to the sound of her alarm. It was just before dawn. She looked out the second floor bedroom window and saw nothing but darkness and fog. “Today is going to be a good day,” she thought to herself. She left her bed and began getting ready for the day.

The two men continued down the sidewalk in silence. Finally, one of them put his hand out to stop the other from walking and said quietly, “This one’s it.” They gazed at the front of the house that had one solitary light in the upstairs bedroom. They saw a girl moving around getting ready for the day.

The girl hummed gently to herself as she prepared for work. She changed from her pajamas into a flattering yellow dress. Looking into the mirror, she gave herself a nod of approval. “He will think it’s perfect,” she said to herself and did a little twirl. She checked her watch and realized she needed to hurry. She had to meet him in twenty minutes. The girl switched off the light and left her room.

Bouncer Post #117

Title: THE SIDEWALK’S REGRETS

Genre: YA Contemporary

Word Count: 84 000

Query

Seventeen-year-old Sacha McLeod isn’t looking for someone to rock her

world.  She just needs a new violin string to replace the one she

broke in a tricky section of her audition piece.  But when she hears

Dylan play the guitar, the energy, violence and unpredictability of

the music thrills her and she falls hard for him and his wild,

inventive sound.

Her plans - and her self-confidence – are shattered when she screws up

the audition for a prestigious summer music program. Dylan asks her to

come and spend her vacation with him in the city instead and she jumps

at the chance.  She’s expecting romance, music and passion, but when

she finds herself playing second fiddle to Dylan’s newly acquired drug

habit, she realizes despite what the songs say, sometimes love isn’t

all you need.

Desperate to be close to Dylan, and to understand what’s competing for

her affections, Sacha experiments with drugs on her own, discovering a

well of creativity she didn’t know existed. Her contribution to the

band’s sound brings them into the public eye, but with the extra

attention – and money - drug use escalates. If Sacha can’t figure out

how to leave the band, and Dylan, she’ll lose herself, and her music

forever.

First 250

The notes swim on the page, blurring before my eyes.  My bow stutters

across the bridge and I wince at the piercing noise that squawks out

as the E-string breaks.

“Goddamn!”  I want to throw the bow across the room, but I know

better.  I set it down on the table beside me instead.  I glance at

the clock.  Four fifteen.  Great.  I got an hour in.  Maybe a little

more.  That’s going to get this piece nailed.  Not.  Stupid

Shostakovich.  Whoever picked this to be the compulsory piece for the

summer school auditions deserves a kick in the ass.

I place my violin on the table while I scrabble through the paper

envelopes of strings I keep inside the case’s lining.  I know I don’t

have a spare E because I broke one last week too.  In the same

measure.  There’s clearly something wrong with my technique in that

section.  I have to ask Mr. Dobson about that when I go to my lesson

tomorrow.  I’ll have to get a new E-string before then too.  One

hasn’t miraculously appeared, despite my wishes.

With a sigh, I pack my violin into its case, pausing to run a hand

over the warm, golden wood before shutting the lid.  It’s like locking

away my best friend.  It is locking away my best friend.  God knows I

spend more time with my instrument than I do with anyone else.