Title: THE SIDEWALK’S REGRETS
Genre: YA Contemporary
Word Count: 84 000
Query
Seventeen-year-old Sacha McLeod isn’t looking for
someone to rock her
world. She just needs a new violin string to
replace the one she
broke in a tricky section of her audition piece.
But when she hears
Dylan play the guitar, the energy, violence and
unpredictability of
the music thrills her and she falls hard for him and
his wild,
inventive sound.
Her plans - and her self-confidence – are shattered
when she screws up
the audition for a prestigious summer music program.
Dylan asks her to
come and spend her vacation with him in the city
instead and she jumps
at the chance. She’s expecting romance, music
and passion, but when
she finds herself playing second fiddle to Dylan’s
newly acquired drug
habit, she realizes despite what the songs say,
sometimes love isn’t
all you need.
Desperate to be close to Dylan, and to understand
what’s competing for
her affections, Sacha experiments with drugs on her
own, discovering a
well of creativity she didn’t know existed. Her
contribution to the
band’s sound brings them into the public eye, but with
the extra
attention – and money - drug use escalates. If Sacha
can’t figure out
how to leave the band, and Dylan, she’ll lose herself,
and her music
forever.
First 250
The notes swim on the page, blurring before my
eyes. My bow stutters
across the bridge and I wince at the piercing noise
that squawks out
as the E-string breaks.
“Goddamn!” I want to throw the bow across the
room, but I know
better. I set it down on the table beside me
instead. I glance at
the clock. Four fifteen. Great. I
got an hour in. Maybe a little
more. That’s going to get this piece
nailed. Not. Stupid
Shostakovich. Whoever picked this to be the
compulsory piece for the
summer school auditions deserves a kick in the ass.
I place my violin on the table while I scrabble
through the paper
envelopes of strings I keep inside the case’s
lining. I know I don’t
have a spare E because I broke one last week
too. In the same
measure. There’s clearly something wrong with my
technique in that
section. I have to ask Mr. Dobson about that
when I go to my lesson
tomorrow. I’ll have to get a new E-string before
then too. One
hasn’t miraculously appeared, despite my wishes.
With a sigh, I pack my violin into its case, pausing
to run a hand
over the warm, golden wood before shutting the
lid. It’s like locking
away my best friend. It is locking away my best
friend. God knows I
spend more time with my instrument than I do with
anyone else.
Wow! Great query and first 250. I especially like your voice.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck!
#112
This is amazing. I never read as much Contemp as I would like, but this would be one that I MUST READ! Your query is solid (and heartbreaking). This is a very relatable story. Loved your first 250. Excellent writing!
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I loved this. You're writing is very strong, and we get a really good idea about who your MC is from your 250.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love the whole concept. I think it's the sort of concept we don't see a lot of currently and would really stand out.
Good luck!
~Mandy (#130)
Your query is very clearly written and you've communicated your mc's dilemma well. We also learn some key things about your mc in these first 250 words, which is great. Good luck in the contest!
ReplyDelete#124
Great voice on your MC, and as a bouncer said in the last round "a rocker story is always fun."
ReplyDeleteI just had a couple questions raised by your query. How does needing a new string lead into hearing Dylan play? A transition there (a la "Dylan, the boy in the music store...") would help. Also, how old is Dylan? This story feels quite different to me if he's a peer teenage rocker than if he's a 28 year old drug-addled musician, you know? These missing (for me) pieces could even be added in the same place as we are introduced to Dylan.
Bouncer Cake is on the case. You're in!
ReplyDeleteOh wow! Thank you so, so much!
Delete