Sunday, February 5, 2012

Bouncer Post #9

Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy
Word Count: 99,000


Ever since the day she lost her mom and her brother, weird things have been happening to California girl Phoebe Meredith. Strange noises only she can hear, auras surrounding the people she meets and a mysterious letter which appears in her dorm room convince Phoebe that she's lost it.

With nothing left to lose but her last few marbles, Phoebe follows the letter – apparently from an aunt in Wales - to track down her long-lost relatives and find out why her aunt believes she is in danger. When Phoebe meets her aunt and the odd folks hanging around the place, she finds out she’s not as crazy as she thought.

Sin is an ordinary eighteen-year-old guy. He plays in a band, has no clue what he wants to do with his life, and finds his thoughts ever more occupied by the girl who’s just moved in next door. And yeah – he’s a dragon. Well, half-dragon.
Sin has sworn an oath to protect the Meredith witches, and with a growing number of witches going missing ever closer to home, Sin finds himself not only fighting to avoid becoming the beast that taunts him, but to save the life of the girl who could end the threat to witches and dragons alike. Sin helps Phoebe to uncover the centuries-old secrets that are being used to bring about a Dark Age of Magic. Under threat of an ancient horror being unleashed, they must find a way to save their magical heritage - and try not to destroy each other in the process.

First 250:

I could hear them. They were in the walls – again.

I scrunched my eyelids shut, trying to ignore the weird itch behind my eyeballs that always seemed to flare up whenever the Crazy was about to hit.

It didn’t work. Never did.

With a growl of frustration I sat up in bed, hearing the flutter and scrape becoming almost frenzied inside the wall.

“Not again,” Christina groaned. My roommate pulled the pillow over her head.  I reached under the mattress for the hammer, wishing it was of the sledge variety instead of the mediocre claw hammer I’d snagged from the maintenance guy’s toolbox. Chris muttered something else, but it was lost under her pillow and the incessant scraping inside the walls.

I rolled out of bed, still glaring at the wall as though I’d be able to see the evil little buggers right through the plaster. All I saw were muted green spots across my vision in the dark, like when you’ve looked directly at a bright light and your eyes go all hinky. The scritch-scratch sound of their movements seemed to follow my own, and I took an experimental step towards the door. Sure enough, the sound followed me.

“Need to draw them out,” I muttered under my breath.


I glanced to where Chris had now pulled the pillow from her face and was squinting at me, her features appearing stark in the light from her cellphone’s illuminated display. She gave me a worried frown, making me feel bad for waking her. Again.


  1. Speaking as someone who's read this book I can say that this blurb is spot-on.

    Both of the main characters get some introduction here with just enough intrigue to leave mystery for the reader. No cardboard narrators to tolerate for 99k words here! The dividing line for me with YA lit is 2D characters. Dynamic. Make me go on a journey with your character, not watch them start as one person and finish as the same damn person...Just from this blurb, you can tell we're getting a real adventure.

    Genre is clear. We've got YA. Also dealing with paranormal, but reality-based paranormal. For me it's a major peeve when I read a blurb and can't tell if it's our world with a little tweaking or a completely different world.

    Dragons, witches, and a very clear history and mythology to learn about. I don't think any of these have been overly done. At least neither of these characters are love-struck vampires...

    Again, having read the book, I can say the 99k goes by pretty quick. And leaves me CLAWING for more. I harass the author daily.

    Maybe by posting this comment, I'll get to see the author's next work-in-progress? Maybe? Yes. Please? I'll DELETE this comment. I SWEAR!

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. What I MEANT to say was... thank you so much!

  2. I enjoyed your premise and first 250. Best of luck!

  3. creepy. (which is a good thing.) the first 250 made me go "creepy" and get all itchy. ;)

  4. I love the dragon twist and Sin is hot Hot HOT. The YA girls are going to go nuts for this one!

  5. I love the dragon thing too. Dragons must be big lately lol. The premise sounds fantastic, and the opening is intriguing. I would read on. Good luck!

    1. Thanks for the feedback!

      Hmm... must be the year of the dragon or something ;)

  6. Things scratching in the walls! Creepy! Nice opening, plenty of hooks to draw me in!

  7. Bouncer Bookish HandygirlFebruary 8, 2012 at 1:06 PM

    Query is a bit confusing, but the opening is strong. You're in!

  8. Yay, congrats!!! I've read this, and COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN!!