Monday, May 20, 2013

The Writer's Voice #5 - THE SEER (YA)

Genre: YA fantasy
Word Count: 90,000


Every woman in the Tesmond family line inherits prophetic abilities they must keep secret. Seventeen-year-old Carlotta yearns for the freedom to use her gift, but in the mystic hamlet of Greer, seers are met with swift trials and a hangman's rope.

When Hector Durante discovers Carlotta's hidden talent, he confines her on his father's ship, planning to use her visions to end the war in his homeland. But second sight isn’t perfect, and the infuriating Hector somehow foils every attempt she makes at escape, always—maddeningly—one step ahead. She's never met a boy she despised more yet still dreamt of kissing.

Carlotta is compelled to act when new visions warn of a world dominated by destruction should Hector’s enemies prevail. She leads him to an isle loaded with hidden treasure, funding his cause but enraging the local pirates.

Hector and Carlotta form an uneasy alliance to thwart the pirates on their tail and the warfront ahead. As Carlotta plans to fight for a people she's never met and the love of the boy she's falling for, her understanding of her power grows. But as enemies align and threats mount, the knowledge may have come too late.

First 250
Carlotta tensed, bound by her curse. A yellow mist enveloped her mind, wrapping it like the silken threads of a cocoon. She always resisted—at first.
Her fingers buried themselves in the hair behind her throbbing temples. She winced as she pressed too hard upon the fresh bruise. Fueled by rumors concerning local ‘witches’, a pack of Greer children threw rocks when they had caught her alone outside the village border. The missiles had found their mark yet again.
Fighting her curse was useless, so she lowered her hands and opened her consciousness, stealing herself for the approaching vision.
The mist cleared, yet she could not see.
She sensed a man in the dark space, shrouded in secrecy. Drawing her to him, his powerful life force ensnared her. “You will help us.”
“You might have asked,” she answered.
“Does one need ask for what is already theirs?”
You are a bold one. “In this case, and as you need my help, yes.”
“Then I yield and make my request a formal one. Will you aid us?”
The cry of thousands swelled within her breast, crushing the air from her lungs. The dark man’s pain rose distinct above theirs to grip her heart, binding her to him. “You want me to free them?” Her voice trembled. “I don’t know how.”
“You will … and incur both reward and loss.”
A cost? Of course, there always is. The band around her heart tightened. Haven’t I paid enough already?
“Your answer, Milady?”
“You have my word.”
“Look you then to the seas …”


  1. I love the descriptions and the beautiful, almost archaic, dialogue! Awesomely done!! GO TEAM!

  2. I'm drawn right into your story. Well done!

  3. Oooo so intriguing! Adventure and fantasy and romance all rolled into one! SOUNDS AWESOME! woohoo!

  4. I really want to read more of this! Yay you!! :)

  5. Beautiful writing. Great voice. And the blurb really made me want to read the story, too.

  6. This is really great! Gorgeous prose and intriguing plot.

  7. Fantastic. I'd love to read more. :-)

  8. Your writing style is fantastic, and I don't think it's possible to ever go wrong with pirates and romance. Love this!

  9. Romance, adventure, and paranormal seer? I would definitely read this! Looks awesome!

  10. Wow your query was awesome! And your first 250 has such a spectacular voice. I love how I'm immediately drawn right into the story. Great job! Good luck!

  11. AMAZING concept! Love the query and 250! Good luck!

  12. Love this one! Good luck on Thursday and Friday!

  13. Powerful voice, intriguing concept, who could ask for more? Good luck!

  14. ooo, I so want to read more! Great voice and the concept is fab! Your query is fantastically written and really captures the voice of the story. This one is definitely on my radar. Good luck to you!!