Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Surprise Agent Invasion #49

This entry has been rescinded. 

1 comment:

  1. Compelling opening, having your main character realize that she has killed a man who had tried to rape her and have her realize she may find no protection in the law due to her parentage. I disagree, though, with her thinking back to the morning at that particular moment. It breaks the tension and forward momentum. You've barely gotten started. Keep with the immediate (and overwhelming) problem at hand. How is she going to deal with this murder she just committed? Give us the background on a need-to-know basis, not now.