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Awesome. Love all the action and the family dynamics. :)
So many cool story elements. It sounds so FUN!
I really like this one. Love the query.
Your story makes me wonder why I don't read more sci fi. One reason I like contemporary is because of the dysfunction and issues the characters have. Yours has those daddy issues too. But A LOT more action, an interesting world and characters! Great job.
Space pirates! Whee! I'd read this book in a heartbeat. Good luck!
This one is great. Fabulous writing and an awesome premise! :D
There can never be enough space pirates.
Taro/Trig sounds like the most fun hero I've read in a while--good luck!!
Such a great, snappy query, and the excerpt - esp. the nose part in the third paragraph - just clinches it. Nicely done.
I second T.L. on the space pirates. Great job and good luck!
I love the vibe I get from this, history blended with future. Good luck!
Wowza! I love how this came together here--bravo!
YAY! Sci fi. Such a cool idea and pirates in space? YES!
I love everything about this. With the science fiction/fantasy section in bookstores these days overflowing with epic fantasy and urban fantasy and a whole host of other fantasy titles, it is so refreshing to see some really promising science fiction. I'm psyched!
Really loved the revisions. And hey, I'm all about sentient machinery (no, really - only computers in my case). Good luck!
I can't wait for this to be published! It is too frakkin' cool! Good luck (not that something this awesome need rely on luck).
Pretty cool Derek..Ill take a copy.. i love that kind of starship trooper/ starwars stuff...Keep it up man! Well Done! P. Buzzeo
I'm not much of a sci-fi reader, but your premise is very intriguing. You've given Trig characteristics that the reader can root for. Good luck!
I love the changes man, good luck!
I really like the opening scene! Good luck to you!
Hahaha I'll be nerfed if this doesn't get published. Nice, accessible voice. Proud to be on your team!
I love the voice in this - cheeky and full of spunk! Good luck, Derek!
Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! So good! Love it! (was that fangirl enough, or a bit much?)Seriously though, I love this. Nerfed and nose holes?! excellent. I don't read much sci-fi but I'd pick this up in a heartbeat.
Awesome job! It looks really sharp.I love it!
Love your query! I want read the whole thing and more from you!
Can't wait to read the whole thing. Sounds great!
This is K. jered Mayer. I have to say from the wit, the characters and the set pieces that promise both spectacle and variety, this query has made me eager to read Stealing the Sun. Even twice over! Well done, Derek!
Great I want to read more.
Great story - lots of action. I couldn't put my computer down until I finished it.
#7 STEALING THE SUNQuery:Great title! I like the idea of a sentient spaceship and a space-pirate protagonist, and “reasons—treasons” cracked me up.That said, this query feels a little long and cluttered to me. I’m suggest cutting the entire second paragraph, since it’s clearly all backstory; the only parts you have to salvage from it are that the father was murdered and that Trig is escaping from Xan. In fact, since it doesn’t seem like investigating his father’s murder is a major plot point, I’m not sure that even needs to be in there. Maybe you can get the father’s death into the first paragraph (“The quantum starships his late father built…”?) and the prison moon into the following one (“Now, to escape from the prison moon Xan, Trig has stolen…existence. But he still can’t out run his past.”)First page:I love all the humorous bits: “He’d lost his footing, and his certainty.” “Well, snouts. Face holes? Whatever?” Really funny!So much is going on in this scene that I occasionally had a little trouble following, but that could be my unfamiliarity with hard sci-fi. In the second paragraph, I didn’t know at first whether the “They” in “They couldn’t destroy…” was the enemy or Trig’s crew (I thought he might have a crew), so perhaps you could call them something more specific (“The Vaxacians” or “The enemy”?). I don’t think you need the “Yep, Trig thought” in the final line, since you just gave us a “Nope.” Just “He was pretty well nerfed” would be more effective. And a few nits: make sure you italicize Yamato-Musashi the second time. Are you missing a word (“speed”?) in the sentence “At full ahead…”? And a comma would be well-placed between “Before he stood” and “he checked under the seat.”