Title:
ZOMBIE CRUSH
Genre: Upper MG/Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 52,000
Query:
Thirteen year old Bridget Miles is known as the freaky
witch girl. After her Boy Perfect---Ronnie---her crush since the first grade,
dies she performs the one spell her Great Grandmother warned her against and
brings him back to life. As a zombie.
Everything seems good-ish until a covert
government agency tries to recruit Bridget for their zombie experiments. Though
at first she’s intrigued, she soon realizes there’s a sinister agenda beneath
their squeaky-clean exterior—the agency’s plans could bring a stop to mankind.
Bridget has to stop them before a zombie army takes over the world.
And save her boy zombie in the process.
ZOMBIE CRUSH is a humorous book about zombies and
first love.
First 250:
I shiver in the cool October night air as I wait.
Halloween is over. Tomorrow will be the first of November. My thirteenth
birthday. The only present I want is for Ronnie to be alive again.
I hide in the back of the mausoleum where Ronnie is
interred. The air smells damp and musty as if it hasn't had fresh air blow
through here in a while even though his funeral was today. The only spots of
color are the bright flowers left for Ronnie but those are dulled and wilted as
if they've been here a long time. A small bit of moonlight shines on the cold
tiled floor from the one and only window high above me. Even the window is only
partially clean. Dead leaves and other debris cloud the glass.
I run my hands along the stone wall until I get
to his crypt.
“Ronald Michaels—beloved son and friend,” I read
aloud. It's a makeshift sign probably put there until the brass plaque arrives.
Shoving aside the flowers I kneel on the tile in front of the crypt and open my
backpack.
I assemble materials for the spell Great Grandmother
Bridget listed in the Book of Shadows. Taking a deep breath I begin.
I thought this was great. Your query really works -- it's short, to the point, bursting with voice, and has a terrific penultimate line. Also, I just love the name of the love interest. It really works. Your 250 sets you off to a good start.
ReplyDeleteMonica #26
This sounds like it could be a cute read. The second sentence in the first paragraph of your query reads a little akward. And I think you need a "but" after the comma in the second sentence of your second paragraph. But overall, good job and good luck!
ReplyDeleteLaurie #8