Sunday, February 17, 2013

Bouncer Round 6 #9

Genre: Women's Fiction
Word Count: 84,000


After finding out she’ll give birth to a second son, Victoria Logan is determined to make her third and final child a girl.

Victoria yearns to have a daughter who will fulfill her desire for a meaningful mother-daughter relationship, unlike the lackluster one she has with her own mother. She joins an online gender swaying forum, consults with a psychic, gazes up at the moon for just the right cloak of darkness, and tries out different lovemaking positions. During her quest, she battles pessimism from family and friends and a heartache that tests her will.

On the gender swaying forum, she meets Lacey Dalton, the mother of two daughters, scarred by her infant son’s death and possessed with the need to bear another son. Lacey can’t risk a mere fifty percent chance at obtaining him. While considering high-tech options, she pursues a gender selection method that comes with an almost ironclad guarantee, but one that her husband is morally opposed to, violating the fragile trust in her marriage.

When Victoria and Lacey meet in real life, it’s an experience that offers them perspective and insight into each other’s worlds. Both women discover the essence of what really matters.

First 250:

 I wanted to hear “It’s a girl!” for Christmas.

 A sweet, baby girl I would sing dreamy lullabies to, wrap in my arms, and snuggle close. She’d be a beautiful springtime baby born just in time for Easter.

 I envisioned my little girl wearing a dress with pink stripes over soft white linen. I could see her chubby cheeks, eyes as blue as mine, and my husband’s dimples. She would be the perfect match to our three-year-old son.

 “Are you ready to find out?” my husband, Ryan, asked me.

 We sat in the doctor’s office, waiting for our twenty-week ultrasound. Our son Wyatt played next to me with two dump trucks we brought along. “BAM!” Wyatt screeched, crashing one dump truck into the other. The loser rolled down off the polished armrest of the chair, careening to the carpet.

 “Wyatt, pipe down,” Ryan said.

 Our son grinned up at his father, one side of his lips hitched up higher.

 “I still the baby’s going to be a girl,” Ryan said, flipping briskly through a sports magazine.
 “I hope it’s my girl,” I said, for what seemed like the twentieth time that week.

 My husband grimaced. “Victoria,” he chided. “The health of the baby is all that matters. 
You know that.”

 “I know, I know,” I let my words trail off. He knew all about my longtime dream to have a daughter, so I could piece together a part of the void that lingered in me.  


  1. I like your premise. I'm wondering if it's possible to tell us more about the stakes in the query. You mentioned the "lackluster" relationship between Victoria and her there more that can be said about that? Is Lacey risking her marriage to pursue gender selection?

    I'd definitely read more! Good luck!

    1. I appreciate your thoughts! Thank you for sharing. I'll definitely consider finding a way to answer your questions in the query. I try to tow the line though of telling too much in the query (don't want a mini-synopsis there) but also illustrating the stakes.

      Thanks again!

  2. Oooh, great premise. I like your query but would also like a little more as to why it's so important for the next baby to be a girl. I'd like some more background on Victoria's role as a daughter. I'm really interested in Victoria's relationship with Lacey! That's the part of the query that really makes me want to read on. Good luck, and thanks for stopping by my entry!
    -Amy (#34)

    1. Thanks for the comments! The query just dabbles in the idea, but of course, the book delves into the "whys" much deeper, plus her role as a daughter, and why she thinks she can "fix" it with having her own daughter.

  3. Ooh, I find your premise intriguing! Because wanting a boy or a girl is such a personal and often confessed to only the closest of friends and family, I don't feel a need to know the why in the query. The fact that she wants a girl resonates.

    I like the subtle tension between Victoria and Ryan as they wait. One little thing: I think a word is missing in this line: “I still [think?] the baby’s going to be a girl,” Ryan said, flipping briskly through a sports magazine.

    Best of luck!
    Bonnie #12

    1. Bonnie, thanks for your comments! Yeah, this is such a closeted subject, that I wanted to bring it to light :) And woefully, yes there is a word missing. The sentence does read like you said. I don't know where the *think* ran off to, because it's in the original document. I guess it got somewhere :(

      Thanks again!

  4. I also enjoyed the tension between Ryan and Victoria in your excerpt. Well written!

    Larissa (#18)

  5. This is totally a theme that is going to resonate with a lot of people TTC!