Monday, March 26, 2012

Surprise Agent Invasion #1

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 89,000


Days before graduation, sixteen-year-old Bruno Nazaire makes the worst mistake a Blue can make—he grabs the hand of a suicidal Green, saving the boy’s life and forever altering his own.

In Télesphore, the glowing color of a person's palm determines their place in society, and touching hands with another mixes the colors permanently. Changing identities might not be so bad for the weirdoes and wallflowers, but Bruno is the most popular guy on the rugby team. Or, was. Now with a turquoise palm, the best he can hope for is a backbreaking life in the sewers. Only a last-minute arranged marriage to another Blue might save him. The problem is, Bruno has already fallen for Véronique, a girl from the Red Slums who's opened his eyes to the suffering of the lower colors. 

As classifications approach, Bruno sees only two choices: turn his back on the oppressed and embrace the posh life he was meant to live; or be disowned by his family, hide from the law, and continue diluting his color to give the less fortunate a chance at a better life. But when he learns Véronique is in danger of falling victim to a lecherous member of the Royal Council, Bruno decides neither option will do, and he'll face the fight of his life to tear down the color boundaries and win the girl of his dreams.

Complete at 89,000 words, AN UNCOMMON BLUE is a YA Urban Fantasy with a colorful twist. My previous publications include a collection of comedy sketches by Meriwether Publishing Ltd, and various other skits for Brand X Comedy, a university performance troupe. I have a BS degree in Youth Leadership, which provides me with insight into adolescent trends and struggles.

First 250:

I was seven when I killed my father. He had taken me to the river to find shells.

“Let’s see what you’ve got so far,” Papa said, bouncing baby Jeanette on his hip.

Carefully, I unfolded the handkerchief to reveal my collection. The red light of my palm shone through the cloth and made the shells glow pink. I thought Papa might frown at the chipped ones, but instead his eyes grew big.

“How did you find so many?”

I laughed. “Papa, you know it took me lots of months to get this much.”

“They’ll make a pretty necklace.”

“But you got to go to work, and Mama’s birthday is tomorrow!”

“We’ll string them in the morning before Mama gets up.”

“No, baby!” I pulled the shells away just in time to save them from my sister’s fat little fingers. Normal babies played with their fire for the first year, but not Jeannette. She only wanted stuff that belonged to me. That’s probably why she learned my name before anyone else. Actually, she called me Neek, but Mama said I can’t expect a baby to say the whole thing.

Papa spread out an old shirt on the riverbank and we sat down to eat our sandwiches.

“So Veronique," he said, "what are you learning at École Rouge?”

I rolled my eyes. Papa always wanted to talk about school--like he was worried the teachers were all dumb or something.


  1. I liked the query portion a lot. However, I expected to get the voice of the boy and I got the girl. That is what kept me from requesting. If this is a prologue you should always lead with the start of chapter one instead.

  2. I thought the plot was really intriguing and I'd love to see what you've done with it. Please send the complete manuscript and synopsis in word doc attachment to gpanettieri at talcottnotch dot net. Thanks, and I look forward to seeing it!

  3. I like the hook quite a lot. I was expecting the sample to be in the voice of a 16 year old boy and we got a 7 year old girl instead. It is hard to really get a sense of the true voice of the ms since this 1st 250 words is reading like prologue, but I am intrigued nonetheless. Please send me the 1st 50 pages and a synopsis in hardcopy. My mailing address is on my website,