Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Surprise Agent Invasion #20

Genre: MG Boy Police Detective Mystery
Word count:37,000


CODE NAME: Eddie Red
JOB: Police Sketch Artist
ASSIGNMENT: Crack the biggest art robbery case New York City has ever seen

When eleven-year-old Edmund Lonnrot is offered a job at the NYPD, he becomes Eddie Red, a kid spy armed with paper, sketching coal, and…an iPod. His task is simple: stake out the city’s art museums, catalog the faces in his photographic memory, draw pictures of anyone suspicious. An easy gig, right?

Wrong. From fighting off alley cats with a taser, to cross-dressing as a Girl Scout in order to infiltrate a crime ring, Eddie finds himself in some crazy predicaments. He teams up with his hyper best friend Jonah, an “active boy,” which is his mother’s polite way of saying that Jonah is never allowed near her china cabinet unsupervised again. Together they set out to solve the complex crime involving city maps, geometric patterns, and chess moves, all on a rollercoaster ride of suspenseful twists and comedic surprises. In the end will Eddie save the day, or will the notorious art thief Lars Heinrich elude the police yet again?

And if you think police work is tough, try being the only puny black kid in the sixth grade.

First 250:

“State your name.”

“Eddie Red.”

The officer looks up at me and frowns. “State your real name. For the police report.” He jabs a meaty finger at the paperwork in front of him.

“Edmund Lonnrot,” I reply, making sure to keep my voice steady despite my wobbly insides. Worst. Night. Ever.

“I suppose you have a middle name?” he says on a sigh.

“Oh. Xavier.”

He sighs again and rubs his temples, clearly counting to ten in his head like he’s supposed to when it comes to dealing with children.

“Alright, Mr. ‘O Xavier’, here’s how this works: I’m going to tell you what we know, and then you’re going to tell me what you know. I expect your full cooperation.”

I nod.

“We have an unconscious detective in the hospital. We’ve got a smashed van, two suspects in bad shape, and more suspects on the run. And we’ve got you, a material witness covered in blood. Does that sound about right?”

I nod again. Misery.  

He sits back in his chair, tapping a pen on the desk. I half expect him to shine one of those bright lights in my eyes like they do in the movies. Instead he just starts chewing on the pen cap, swishing it around in his mouth, saliva and all. He sort of resembles a cow chomping on its cud only I don’t mention this because policemen don’t enjoy being compared to farm animals. Like the time when I asked Detective Bovano why people call cops pigs, and he turned a shade of purple similar to the man who is glaring at me now.


  1. I thought this sounded hysterical! I loved the idea of him cross-dressing as a Girl Scout and being a talented sketch artist fighting off alley cats with a taser.

    The voice was overall very good. There was a slight unevenness to it as far as where I'd peg your protagonist's age, but that could be worked out in revision, and I definitely advise cutting the 'likeness to farm animals' line. You can liken him to a cow chewing cud, but that's it. I have to read more. Send me the complete manuscript plus a full synopsis in an email attachment in Word to gpanettieri at talcottnotch dot net.


  2. Oh, I'd definitely like to see this one! Could you please email the full manuscript in .doc form to suzie at nancycoffeyliterary dot com. And if you could paste the query into the first page of the document and put REQUESTED MATERIAL in the subject line of the email, that would be perfect.

  3. This is so cute, and I love the voice! I'd love to see the first 50 pages. Please send to submissions@fullcircleliterary.com, attached as a Word document (.doc), and include my name and Agent Invasion in the subject line. Looking forward to hearing from you.
    All my best,
    Taylor Martindale
    Full Circle Literary