Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Surprise Agent Invasion #42

Genre: MG Adventure
Word Count: 80,000 words


Twelve-year-old Orion has just five days to journey from Brooklyn to San Francisco to save his uncle and reverse his growth accelerator invention, but he’ll need a lot more than bug spray and a backpack of his own faulty inventions to fend off mosquitoes larger than pigeons if he has any chance of surviving in this deadly new world.

Orion Marx wants his summer before seventh grade to be epic. He plans to beat his best friend’s record of riding the Cyclone coaster twelve times in a row and sneak into the swanky hotel pool across the street. And that’s just day one of vacation.

But that was before nature decided to go crazy.

When cockroaches suddenly explode to the size of sewer rats and Orion is attacked by a giant houseplant, he discovers it’s his uncle’s invention responsible for the chaos. The good news is there’s a way to stop it. The bad news is his uncle has hidden the reversal device in a safe place. The really bad news is the reversal device is three thousand miles away—in Orion’s watch.

First 250:

Orion Marx avoided girls.

He didn’t sit by them at lunch. He didn’t talk to them in the hallway. And he definitely didn’t whistle at them. He didn’t even like girls. Not like that. And even if he did he still wouldn’t whistle at one.

But when he waltzed into the elevator of his apartment building that morning and came face to face with the most popular girl in eighth grade, he whistled at her.

Ok, so he didn’t actually whistle at her, but his watch did. 

Heat flashed over Orion’s cheeks. He glanced down at his wrist as if he were checking the time. Not again. The second hand and minute hand spun out of control, a green and blue blur against the white background. Then just like that, it stopped.

Maria (or was it Leah?) shot Orion a dirty look. He backed into the corner that reeked like the tofu breakfast burritos his mom made and did his best to blend in with the dark wood paneling.

Talk about a bad way to start off the day.

If the watch didn’t quit making so much noise he’d have to leave it in his locker for the rest of the day. Which may not sound like a big deal to most people, but the only time Orion took his watch off was to shower. Created especially for him by his Uncle Cyrus, it was his prized possession. The only one of its kind in the world.


  1. I absolutely love the book's summary from your query. It sounds like an amazing adventure! Everything boys would adore, like giant bugs, dangerous plants and a cross-country adventure all alone. Science and mystery and danger, wow!

    I think you should perhaps make Orion a little more true to his age in the current world and allow him to be aware of girls and admit he likes them, since 12-year-olds now are not still stuck in that 'not me, I don't like girls, ewww, not that way' stage. He could be completely awkward and tongue-tied faced with a somewhat older and more worldly girl, but that would be because he realizes she's a cutie and he has no idea how to act.

    I love the watch idea, sounds like a fun device. So far, so good, nice query package! Good luck!

  2. This is very intriguing! I'd love to see the entire manuscript. Please send it to andrea at tla1 dot com, as a Word (.doc) attachment with the subject line Agent Invasion Requested Submission. Thank you!
    Andrea Cascardi