Sunday, February 5, 2012

Bouncer Post #14

Genre: YA Historical Fantasy
Word Count: 70,000


Sixteen-year-old Holly Kimura expects her annual visit to her grandmother in Japan to be just another summer of boredom and sushi, until she meets local boy Tamashi. When he saves Holly from thugs at the market where he works, she jumps at the chance to get closer to him, hoping to unearth the secrets behind his threadbare clothes and strange accent, and maybe steal a kiss or two. But nothing prepares her for what she discovers – Tamashi isn’t human.

He’s a Time Dragon - the last of an ancient breed of dragons created to watch over Japan. But after being betrayed by the woman he loved, he’s been trapped in the body of a seventeen-year-old human boy for the last five hundred years. Even worse, the wizard who captured him is close to unlocking Tamashi’s powers – and he intends to use them to rewrite time. If Tamashi and Holly can’t stop the wizard from completing his terrible vision for the past, he will erase their very existence from history. And that would seriously screw up the rest of Holly’s summer plans.

First 250:

There was nothing quite like the smell of fish to set the mood for a first date.

Holly stood at the edge of the farmer’s market and wrinkled her nose. Usually the scent of yuzu and fresh chestnuts spiced the air, but today was Wednesday. Fish day.

Not exactly the day she would have chosen to meet up with her crush, but evidently guys either didn’t mind the smell or didn’t pay attention to that sort of thing. She hitched up her ponytail and started to weave past tables covered with ice and slimy octopus. Fish mouths gaped at her, full of razor sharp teeth, but it was nothing compared to the looks some of the stooped old vendors shot her. They gawked as she passed, their quick judgment of her easy to read in their drawn brows and cold eyes.

She was only half Japanese. An outsider. Though they were too polite to say anything, she knew what they were thinking. Hafu. Hapa. Half-breed. And now that she was back in Japan for another summer, she had to get used to the place all over again. It always felt so foreign, so alien to return, like stepping off a spinning merry-go-round and trying to stay upright. The older she got, the longer she took to regain her balance.

“Buy a kimono!” a vendor shouted at her in Japanese. Holly shook her head as she skirted around tables full of weird anime figurines and cheap lacquer boxes for the tourists.


  1. Guess what, people, I get to read the WHOLE THING! Be jealous!

  2. I'm pretty sure you already know that I love this concept and your writing.

    And I like that your setting up this scene as a first date. What a great way to keep the rich, setting details, while also upping the stakes. In particular, I really like your first line. My only thought is that switching "fish" to a particular (but recognizable) kind of fish might make it even stronger (and then also avoid repeating fish twice in the first few sentences.)

    My other tiny suggestion is to take out "Though they were too polite to say anything" because if they're gawking that doesn't exactly come off as polite.

    But I love this -- and I love the way you set up the whole thing in the query -- awesome job.

    And yes, Gina, I am totally jealous. :)

  3. I love, love the vividness of these descriptions. Japan is a wonderful setting and this sounds like an amazing story! Can't wait to read more one of these days! *grin*

  4. Lucky CP here to say how stunning and heart-pounding this book is! The concept and the romance are SO captivating, and the characters - even the ones 200 years in the past - are SO relatable. Definitely a winner. GO TIME BOUND GO!!! <3

  5. I recall this from last month. And I have to say, I enjoyed it again. Dragons. Need I say more?

  6. Ahhhhh can't wait to read this! Good luck!

  7. Fantastic first line! Love the concept, too.

  8. Bouncer Blue NimbusFebruary 6, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    Sounds like you've got fans! There's good reason for that. "You're in!"

  9. Congrats! I really love the last line of your query. Your book sounds really interesting!

  10. Bouncer IheartbooksFebruary 6, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    Nice job! You're in!

  11. Love the last line of your query. Perfectly captures the character and definitely pulls me in.

  12. Thank you so much, guys! I <3333 you all! I'm so excited I got in :)

  13. I absolutely, positively loved this post from another blog, and I still love it. I wanna read it! I want this published, people!!!

  14. This is my favourite entry so far - and I'm in the contest! I'd love to read this - good luck!

  15. Biased CP popping into say: Love this book! The writing and the story just keep getting better and better with each iteration. TB totally deserves all the attention it's getting. :-)