Sunday, February 12, 2012

Bouncer Post #52

Title: ONE
Genre: Young Adult Science Fiction
Word Count: 76,000 words

Query:


Sixteen-year-old Merrin Grey can float, but she can’t make herself
fly. When almost everyone else is a Super, with at least two powers,
or a Normal, with none, being a One is the worst kind of in-between.

All Merrin wants to do is land an internship at the Supers’ Biotech
Hub, where she might finally figure out how to fix herself. But when
she meets Elias VanDyne, son of the Vice President of the Hub – and
another One – all of her plans fly out the window. Literally. When the
two of them touch their Ones combine to make them fly, and when
they’re not soaring over the Nebraska cornfields, they’re busy falling
for each other.

When Elias disappears, leaving only a panicked note, Merrin knows
exactly where he’s been taken. The Hub’s been conducting experiments
on him since he was a little kid, and now it’s up to her to save him.
But if she chooses to break into the Hub to save the boy who helps her
soar, she’ll have to abandon her dreams of ever flying solo – of ever
being more than a One.

First 250:

Most Ones start with an ability everyone thinks will turn into a
superpower. A really fast runner might have muscles that can’t take
the strain after a few seconds. Or a kid who can stretch an arm out
really far will wait days for it to pull back into place. They put up
with getting teased at Superhero High, waiting for their Second – in
those cases, enhanced muscle power or elasticity - to show up. While
they do, that One power starts to fade. There are still shimmers of
it, but after a while the kid quits trying and the One fizzles into
nothingness.

Then their parents ship them off to Normal High, like mine did.

Here’s my secret: I never quit trying.

Most nights at dusk and some mornings before sunrise, I practice. I
push myself off the ground, telling my body to go weightless, and
hover there, an inch, two, six, then a foot. I stay there for seconds,
then minutes.

I can’t generate enough tension between my body and the air to take a
step - can’t even make myself drift. I’d give anything to be able to
float along like a freaking ghost.

For a long time, I tried to move. Once I tried so hard my muscles
strained, then burned, then ached, then trembled, and I hovered there
behind the shed, weeping and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, until
I heard Dad come out the back door to look for me. Then I collapsed on
the grass.

That was almost a year ago.

33 comments:

  1. Just gonna say it, Bouncers: You want this one. And I know, 'cause I read it. You can thank me later :)

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  2. This is awesome. I just love your query, and the first 250 make me want to read it immediately!

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  3. Intrigued by the query, but the writing is what really hooked me. Gina, I will be emailing you for the author's name so I can't start following their blog.

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  4. I've had the honor of reading this one and it's beautiful and touching and in all ways amazing. Definitely deserves to go all the way!

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  5. Your first 250 completely drew me in- totally fantastic. Good luck!

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  6. AHHH! This sounds so fun!!! FLYING? How can you beat that? And I LOVE the line about the mosquitoes!

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  7. I am so in love with this opening scene. And, ya know, the rest of this MS. It's absolutely AMAZING <3

    GO ONE GO!!! :D

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  8. Oh, the LOVE!
    To my CPs - Thank you for your faith in this project. It means SO MUCH to me, I can't even.
    To my Internet friends - Your cheerleading keeps me going. THANK YOU.
    To everyone I don't "know" - I just...I seriously want to give each of you a great big bear hug. Or maybe just some chocolate, since that would be less creepy. Probably.

    THANK YOU!!!

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  9. Love this- as soon as I realized it had a superhero vibe to it I knew that I would want to read more. Good luck!!!

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  10. GAHHH I GOT HERE SO LATE.

    But I love ONE so, so much. It's happy, it's sad, it'll make you feel like you're the one flying. So good.

    GO ONE!!!

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  11. I like the idea - especially the idea of two ONES coming together to make something bigger than the sum of their parts. Nice concept. The query got my attention - it was pretty clear and easy to get interested in the plot. The 250 words were a nice start - there is the hint of a great voice in there - wrly observing without being whiny or artifically sarcastic. Nice job.

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  12. This is a great story. The query and the voice are beautiful.

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  13. Fantastic! The query grips me, and the first 250 pull me in. Is THAT your super power? :) The bit with the mosquitoes just made me ache for her plight. Love it.

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  14. Bouncer Bookish HandygirlFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:50 AM

    I like the concept. You're in!

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  15. Woooohoooo ONE! This book is so awesome!

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  16. WOOHOO! Love ONE. So happy to see it got in!

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  17. THANKS Bookish Handygirl!!! I'm honored!!!!

    Megan, Chessie, Dolphin, Ladonna, AG, Maggie, and MarcyKate - C'mere. Group hug time. NO I AM NOT KIDDING.

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  18. AAAAAH!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

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  19. YAY! Loved the first 250. The writing is just as strong as what the query promises.

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  20. Woo hoo!!! I'm SO late on this one - but it totally deserves to get in - one of the best books I've read ina long time! *does happy dance* Congrats!

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  21. Marieke-Lori-Jamie
    (((((HUGS AND LOVE)))))

    And martinis. Obviously.

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  22. Yay, One! I was lucky enough to read as well and I love this book! I'm so happy you got in! Well deserved!

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  23. Very cool premise - the query totally hooked me! :o)

    I agree that this definitely deserved to be in! great job!

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  24. Yep, you're in! Good luck!

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  25. This is super duper uber incredible!!!! I LOVE IT Can't wait to see it in book form :D

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  26. It looks like you have a fan club here. :)
    No wonder, you're off to a great start!
    So...is there a line forming for the chocolate???

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  27. This is such a fresh concept. I'll be honest, at the beginning of your query I was prepare for something typical, but it really picked up steam. Your first 250 were great! I hope this goes far!

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  28. Dorothy! Thank you!!!!

    Elizabeth and Alexa - Thank you SO MUCH for reading. <3 Love you to bits.

    Scarlet, Carmen, and wordencounters - YES! Chocolate pretzels, oreo truffles, and creme eggs for you. You may mix and match.

    LOVE TO EVERYONE!!! THANK YOU!!!

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  29. Eyup. That settles it. I'm jealous. Where's my chocolate? ;)

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    Replies
    1. I will send you real chocolate. Pregnant ladies should get to eat WHATEVER they want WHENEVER they want it.

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    2. But do we get 32 comments on our entries, two Bouncers giving us love, and awesome CPs?

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  30. WOW! What a great query! Such a unique idea and explained so well -short and sweet.

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