Monday, February 4, 2013

Bouncer Post #126


Title: SILO
Genre: YA Post Apocalyptic
Word Count: 84,000

Query:

After a global disaster strikes, seventeen-year-old Lizzie Wallace is
kidnapped from the rubble of her high school in Los Angeles and flown
across the devastated country. Her new home is an underground silo
hidden deep in the Adirondack Mountains. Like a modern day Noah's Ark,
the children are there in pairs - male and female, ranging in age from
ten to eighteen. They are the future, each one chosen for their
special skill to rebuild society. There's only one problem - Lizzie
doesn't have the skill they think she does.

Her repeated failure at the one thing that she's expected to
contribute to the group cements her belief that she doesn't belong
there. Even her growing attraction to eighteen-year-old Brand doesn't
stop her from plotting to escape the silo and return to the family she
knows is frantic about her. But when the man who brought her there is
killed, Lizzie learns a secret that changes everything she believes
about the silo and her place in it.

SILO is an 84,000 word YA Post Apocalyptic that will appeal to readers
of Legend and Divergent.

I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Screenwriting from the
University of Southern California and am a member of SCBWI.


First 250:

The first explosion rocks the room, sending my books flying off the desk. The second makes the ground tremble and the lights flicker.  Ms. Clark drops the dry eraser and grabs the corner of her large desk. I brace for a third and don't have to wait long. This one flings the glass specimen jars from the walls, smashing them onto the concrete floor. The smells of formaldehyde and death fill the science class.

"Everyone remain calm," Ms. Clark says, her voice shaky.

"Should we get under our desk?" I ask.

Ms. Clark, now frozen in place, doesn’t respond. I don’t wait for an answer, crawling under mine.

“Lizzie,” Christopher calls to me, but in the chaos I can’t find him. Bodies swarm everywhere in panic. Doesn’t anyone remember the drills we’ve been practicing for a decade now? We’ve been hearing about The Big One since we could walk. They’ve trained us for this. Get under your desks, curl into a little rock, and remain calm until the earthquake stops.

Only this isn’t stopping. The ground shakes again and the lights go out. Screams and sobs reverberate over the din of the creaking building, its beams groaning in protest. Hazy patches of sunlight cut through the room and I wonder how long the windows will hold.

I feel a hand on my arm, strong and warm. I don’t even have to look to know whose it is.I have every callous on Christopher's hand memorized.

7 comments:

  1. Chills! Love the idea of the modern day Noah's Ark. Your query really pulled me in and I want to know what happens! Good luck, Jennie!

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  2. Looking good! I love your query and opening, not to mention the whole thing! Good luck!

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  3. Great query and first 250. I'd love to continue reading. Good luck!
    #112

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  4. What skill do they think she has that she doesn't have? It might make sense to start the first pages as she's kidnapped. Just a thought. Good luck. I'm entry #111.

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  5. I want to read this book. Basically, your query did its job times a thousand! The only nitpick I have is that I would explicitly say in the query what skill it is that she is supposed to have but doesn't.

    Other than that, this is great. I really hope you get in! And I can't wait to see your book on bookshelves one day, so I can read it :)

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  6. The idea of a modern Noah's Ark experiment is a really intriguing premise. The chaos of the earthquake grabbed my attention right away in your first 250 words. I would definitely keep reading beyond this point. :)

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  7. This query just grabs you. I don't think it's necessary to have her skill in the query because now I just want to read the whole thing to find out more and have my questions answered!

    You only need the first 250 and query to tell that this author has something special. Good luck!!!

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