Title:
CALL OF THE CROW
Genre:
MG
Word
Count: 58,000
Query:
Twelve-year-old
Josh Albright always knew he had a strange connection to nature, hearing
mountains whisper in the night and worms scream at the sight of a garden
shovel. But after three crows follow him across the country, he meets a group
of magical creatures who claim Josh is a boy of light. And they expect him to
heal their forest. That’s more than saving a worm.
The
council of elves assign Josh an assistant, a funny British boggart (often
mistaken for a baby dragon) who has some sort of magical attention deficit
disorder and an obsession with William Shakespeare. To deal with his new best
friend with wings, along with his boy of light duties, Josh recruits a creative
girl-next-door. Together they must unravel the mystery of who stole the
forest’s source of magic. Without it, the forest cannot survive.
Josh
has until sunrise on the shortest day of the year to follow a series of clues
from the Ancient Ones, find a blood-stained mountain that turns red once a
year, deal with his fears so he can face a monster, steal some magic, and of
course finish his not-yet-determined science project.
Being
a boy of light is about as easy as a box of boggarts.
First
250:
Josh
Albright sat at a worn wooden table in his clubhouse surrounded by nails, a tin
box of craft supplies, and a slightly chewed pencil. The smell of fresh cut
pine filled the room. He wiped excess glue on the crumpled directions for a
do-it-yourself birdhouse.
Above
him hung a model of the solar system where light shone down from a fiery sun.
Josh stuck the last piece of his project into place and admired his work.
Transforming one thing into another was a kind of magic.
“There.”
He turned his project around so his visitor could see it. Outside an open
window, a jet-black crow stood in the backyard’s only tree. The bird’s sleek
feathers gleamed against the reddened sky of a desert sunset.
“Ready
to move in?” Josh brought the new home closer to the crow, but it didn’t move
from the low hanging tree branch.
“Fine.
I’ll paint it. Will that make you happy?”
The
bird tilted its head. Its deep black eyes looked like a tunnel to some far away
place.
Josh’s
best friend Steven squeezed in the narrow door of the clubhouse with his arms
full of supplies for a sleepover. Josh helped by taking the bulky backpack.
“I
can’t believe you made a house for the symbol of death,” Steven said.
“Stop
that, will you? Crows don’t mean death.”
“Then
why do they always show up in movies, right before someone gets it?”
Josh
couldn’t answer that question.
Enjoyed the story and thought the query was an attention grabber. Josh seems a thoughtful boy. I liked him immediatly.
ReplyDelete~Just Jill
#139
Boggart often mistaken for a baby dragon? I'm in love with this already! #146
ReplyDeleteI also like this premise, though I don't read MG. My kids do, and I know my son would love this. I have a suggestion to enhance your query regarding the line that says: That’s more than saving a worm. I think you should replace the worm w/ something more impactful. A worm is too easy to save, and you want to compare saving the forest (a huge thing) w/ something else that is big (i.e. hard to save).
ReplyDeleteI really liked your first 250, especially little details like the slightly chewed pencil (so true of kids).
-Good luck from Entry #152.
Thank you ladies for the advice and encouragement!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of a boggart with magical add and an obsession with Shakespeare. That lends a lot of possibility to your work.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck
#137
I love the concept. Really liked the 250 words aswell. I am no query expert (I have never written one before this competition so please bear that in mind) but I htought yours was great! It was clear and concise but didn't give away too much.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck
You had me at boggart obsessed with William Shakespeare.
ReplyDeleteYou're in!
Best Valentine's Day gift ever! Thanks everyone!
ReplyDeleteI write MG and YA and thought this sounded good. I'm not sure MG would identify with Shakespeare though. Also maybe use a raven instead of a crow. I agree you need to have something different than a worm to save. Intrigued! #174
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone!
ReplyDelete