Sunday, February 10, 2013

Bouncer Post #157


Title: TO CATCH A FETCH
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 90,000

Query:

Estate photographer Devyn Cartwright doesn't believe in ghosts—or love at first sight—until the night she stumbles into the arms of Ronan Evans, a ghost hunter on a mission to find the remaining fragments of a legendary amulet. Since meeting Ronan, Devyn’s entire world has flipped upside down, and answers are no longer clear…solutions no longer black and white.  She wants to believe the man she has fallen in love with is sane, his stories of ghosts and legendary amulets true, but doing so also means she must accept he is right about her…and his belief she has paranormal abilities too.

From the moment he meets her, Ronan knows there is more to Devyn than meets the eye. He senses an aura about her, the kind one feels when near another person with paranormal abilities. If true, it’s his responsibility to recruit her for the Society. He decides more observation is needed, but admits that his decision is not altogether altruistic…after all it’s hard for him to be objective when other parts of him are, well, hard. When Ronan’s interest moves far beyond wanting Devyn for her body or her paranormal talent what follows is the biggest conundrum he has ever faced—how can he convince her to trust what she feels in her heart when she refuses to believe what she see with her eyes?

Smart, sexy, and a little spooky, TO CATCH A FETCH is The Ghost Whisperer meets The Black Dagger Brotherhood and recently placed first in the paranormal category of the RWA Heart of Denver's 2012 Molly Contest.

First 250:

Devyn Cartwright stood on the porch steps of the abandoned Victorian house and inspected her future. Opportunity hadn't knocked, it had handed her the damn key. Now, as the last fragments of dusk died away, she clutched the home’s antique key in her hand, its engraved edges scraping the sensitive skin of her palm.

 The heavy oak door opened on silent hinges that belied their age. Devyn stepped inside and heard the door snick closed behind her. She reached out to feel for a light switch along the foyer wall. Layers of thick shadows cloaked the rooms to her right and left, making it difficult to discern more than the most basic outlines of cloth-draped furnishings.

 Lots of cloth-draped furnishings. Her pulse jumped. Some women went crazy for purses or shoes, but Devyn’s obsession was houses, specifically nineteenth-century homes and period furniture. The lure of an abandoned mansion was temptation enough, but the fact it was rumored to be stuffed to its rafters with authentic pieces made the house too good to resist. She had taken one look at the vintage key in her boss’s hand and canceled her last photo shoot of the day.

Maybe I should have asked a few more questions before hauling ass out here—like did the house have working utilities? Her fingers brushed against the rounded edges of a modern light switch and she sighed with relief.

Several futile flicks later she muttered her third favorite curse word.

7 comments:

  1. Bouncer Colonel MustardFebruary 11, 2013 at 9:33 PM

    I'm going to wait until Thursday to announce my top 3, but I'm going to give everyone some feedback in the meantime.

    First, I LOL'd (in a good way)! Second, the names are kinda unisex. I had a hard time remembering which one was the girl, and which one is the boy. Also, not sure what an "estate photographer" is. Does she photograph the dead person's property? I'd like to know just a tad more about the "Society." It kind of appears out of nowhere, then is gone again.

    Okay. Stay tuned!

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  2. Thanks for taking the time to comment on all your entires (and thanks- she grumbles) for letting us know you're going to make us sweat it out til Thursday. I lol'd (in a good way too) at the choice of "Colonel Mustard" - nice.
    I shall stay tuned!

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  3. Great first line in the query! Also, love the name Devyn (might just be my MC's name too...)

    I agree, you could move the society stuff up a bit or give more. And great first 250. Really set the scene.

    #156

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  4. Awesome: "Opportunity hadn't knocked, it had handed her the damn key." This sets the stage for life shoving her in directions she may or may not understand (or like). Also makes me want to know WHY she opportunity brought her there. Good job!
    #141

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  5. Bouncer Colonel MustardFebruary 13, 2013 at 11:19 PM

    You're in!

    Great voice. Great humor. What I love about this (both the query and the first 250) is the clever word play. I'm dying to know what her first two favorite curse words are.

    Good luck!

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  6. SWEET! Thank you Colonel Mustard, for the early Valentine's Day Present. I was popping on to read some other entries and comment when I saw this! Thank you again, I hope you get to see more of the mouthy Ms Devyn soon! ;)
    Blowing virtual kisses your way!

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