Sunday, February 17, 2013

Bouncer Round 6 #22

Genre: Upper-Middle Grade/YA
Word Count: 95,000


Zombies aren’t supposed to be beautiful or handsome, but then again,
they’re not supposed to talk or think either. When fourteen year-old Kitt
Faris returns home to find unnervingly good looking people standing over
top his grandfather’s dead body, he begins to understand why he and his
twin brother Jake have been forced to live ‘off the grid’ their whole

Having barely escaped their clutches himself, Kitt must find a way to save
Jake from the zombie necromancers before his brother joins their undead
ranks. Hoping not to be captured and used for spare body parts, Kitt
enters the necromancer stronghold of Etherstone intent on bringing his
brother out alive. After witnessing Jake commit an act of unspeakable
brutality and presuming his brother has now become one of ‘them’, Kitt
flees with only his grandfather’s Book of Bones as a consolation prize.

Despondent at his failure to rescue Jake, a small flicker of hope returns
as Kitt opens the book and inadvertently unlocks the tragic secrets held
within. Still, if Kitt can’t decipher his grandfather’s plan to stop the
necromancers soon, Jake won’t be the only one in danger of joining the
beautiful, living-dead who are on the verge of seizing control of all

First 250:

Kitt Faris considered him-self an expert sleeper. He loved to sleep. From
the moment his head hit the pillow at night, and for as long as he was
allowed to slumber, he would be dead to the world. Unfortunately, Kitt
slept in so often and was so constantly late for everything it prompted
his grandfather to wonder whether he existed in a different time zone than
everyone else on earth.

With only chores and homework as other options for something to do on
their isolated farm, Kitt couldn’t find any reason not to sleep so much,
not that he was looking all that hard. And, if Kitt’s favorite pastime was
to sleep, then one of his greatest skills was remaining oblivious to
anything or anyone who might interrupt that sleep.

Already ignoring the sunlight shining into his eyes, Kitt was also
managing to remain indifferent to the chickens hanging around just outside
his bedroom window. This feat was especially impressive considering the
flightless birds sounded like they were participating in some sort of
clucking contest. Despite this incredible ability to sleep through almost
anything, there was one thing, or rather one person that Kitt was unable
to ignore.

“For the last time get up!” the old man standing at the foot of Kitt’s bed
half yelled, half laughed as he nudged the sleeping fourteen-year-old boy
with his foot.

Without opening his eyes Kitt mumbled, “C’mon Grandpa Bal, get Jake to do
the chores.”


  1. A fantastic twist on a very popular genre! I'm intrigued by the plot and the main character - definitely want to read more! Good luck in the contest - you deserve to go through!

  2. Can I just say that I love the idea of attractive zombies? Who said vampires had dibs on 'devastatingly beautiful' ??

    One thing I would say is that the first 250 might be a little more catchy if the opener isn't the protagonist waking up. Many agents will say that they read a lot of openers starting with the 'morning wake up' and you really want your first 250 to stand out! -#24

  3. Thanks for the feedback Carissa. The story gets going very quickly after the first 250 but maybe I'll have to revamp it with a better hook then re-work the background information in afterwards.