Sunday, February 17, 2013

Bouncer Round 6 #32

Genre: Contemporary YA Fantasy
Word Count: 81,000


When her pathetic existence is trampled by a power-hungry cult, fifteen-year-old Maxine Protega becomes kindling for a civil war decades in the making. Armies convinced she will somehow destroy magic clash with those confident she will immortalize it, leaving behind a trail of chaos. Thrown together with her mortal enemy and annoying best friend, Max and her companions navigate through war-battered territory while trying to find their own common ground to stand on. But tensions flare when she is given the Dot Reaper, a mark that chains her to the Abraxsus, magic’s creator.  

After an assault kills a young boy Max promised to protect, she has the city burned to the  ground, decimating the warring armies and inadvertently killing her guardian’s closest friend. Seeing the destruction wrought by war—and the consequences of her own actions, Max questions the innocence of magic, wondering if the world would be better—safer—without it. What she doesn’t know, however, is how intricately woven magic and life truly are. In destroying it, she will kill her enemies, but at the price of killing everyone she’s grown to love as well.

Dot Reaper is an 81,000 word, contemporary YA fantasy with series potential. It combines the supernatural elements of X-Men with the survivalist nature of Richard Connell’s The Greatest Game Ever.

First 250:

‪Thick pillows of smoke stung her eyes and invaded her lungs as she collapsed against her bedroom door in a coughing fit. Each convulsion ripped through her chest and throat until taking the faintest of breaths felt like swallowing glass. Pushing open the door, Max was hit with a waft of clean air that provided only temporary relief. She darted to the nearest window and threw it open, taking in deep, agonizing  lungfuls of the humid night air.

‪Having followed her up the stairs, Fabian, Max’s little brother, was by her side in seconds, sputtering and wheezing against the mesh wiring. Max rubbed and patted his back to help him rid the soot from his lungs. When his breathing settled, she turned her attention to the screen blocking their escape. 

‪Max pushed at the middle and sides of the barrier, but only with Fabian’s help was she able to pop the screen’s aligner out of its track. Another push sent it hurtling to the ground. 

‪Placing a steadying hand on her brother’s shoulder, Max threw her leg over the windowsill and placed a bare foot firmly on the slanted roof. 

‪“Okay,” she said, adjusting her weight. “Hold on to—” 

‪Another explosion rocked the house, sending a concussive force through the room. The top of Max’s head slammed against the bottom of the window as she was hurled out. She bowled down the shingled roof, scratching up her arms and legs as she slid down. 

1 comment:

  1. This sounds really fascinating! There's a lot going on in the query and I got a little bogged down in the details in the query/first-250.

    I really loved how you handled the comparison titles in the last blurb, and you've got me intrigued!

    Carissa #24

    Carissa #24