Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Love Triangle Entry #11

Genre: YA paranormal romance
Word count: 100,000 


For sixteen-year-old Brynn Hartwel prophetic dreams are like living in Cloverdale, painful, annoying and there is no way to get around it. They started when she was six, got worse after her father’s death and became a secret when her mother forced a psychiatrist on her. Now with junior year on the horizon Brynn knows she is two years closer to escaping Cloverdale and hopefully leaving all traces of her dreams behind.

Then all hell breaks loose.

Her ex-best friend is found murdered and due to another one of her prophetic dreams, Brynn knows she’s next. But the killer isn’t your average, small town sociopath. He’s part of an ancient society of demigods, has gone rogue and is wickedly determined on seeing Brynn dead.

But he isn’t her biggest problem. Griffin is. With his pouty lips and devilish charm, Brynn is suddenly fates fiercest opponent and will do anything to stay alive. Lucky for her Griffin has a secret of his own and everything from Brynn’s dreams to her father’s death is connected to Griffin and The Society of The Devine. A society created of demigods, a society created to rule man in secrecy and a society in which Brynn had been purposely hidden from till now.

Brynn was born a Devine oracle just like her father. But he refused to have her torn from her family to live a life dedicated to The Society so he made a deal with the original Devine to hide her true identity.

But nothing stays hidden forever. A rival group of demigods is after her and she is unsure if they want her dead or as one of their own and she must put her faith in three young Devine warriors sent to protect her.

As the secrets, lies and betrayals pile up no one is safe and not even a Devine oracle could predict that the true threat to The Society is the one person they are trying to protect, Brynn.

First 250: 

If I had known I was going to die before my seventeenth birthday, I would have definitely been more reckless. Like ran off with some hot college guy to the city for the weekend or chopped off all my hair for once. Or simply just stopped wasting my time planning my future. But it was too late for a rebellious weekend or a new hairstyle. And it was too late to live for the moment. My moment was gone. He was hiding in my room waiting to kill me just like my dream predicted and there was nothing I could do to change it. But I refused to make it easy for him. I wanted to guarantee the news report read ‘girl put up a fight’. I would not go out looking pathetic.

I scanned my nightstand for some type of weapon but a furry pillow, a Sixteen Candles DVD and eyelash curler weren’t going to cut it. Why was I so girly? I needed a baseball bat or one of those Taser thingies. I slid the eyelash curler in my palm and stepped closer to the hallway slipping on the trail of water my hair left on the wood floor. If my damn phone hadn’t been ringing I wouldn’t have stormed in my room pinning myself between my bed and him. An amateur move for someone who knew they were fated to be killed.


  1. What a great opening! Seriously, great first sentence.

  2. Great excerpt! It made me want to keep reading.

  3. Every time I read your beginning, I wish I could read more! I'm not sure I've read your query before, but this story sounds so layered and intriguing, I'm sure it's awesome! Good luck :)

  4. Oh! I remember this story and I'm still waiting to read more of it! I really want to see her get all crazy wild with the DVD. :)

  5. LOVE these first 250!!! I'd feel the same way. :D Fabulous job!