Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Love Triangle Entry #2

Title: HOW TO DATE A NERD
Genre: YA Contemporary Romance
Word Count: 61,000

Query:

 Zoe has a great pair of legs, perky boobs, and wears practically nothing to show off her 'assets'.  She works hard for the easy sleezy ‘you only wish you were her’ reputation, burying who she really is--an all out nerd.

Hiding under her comforter to read X-Men comics and sending jealousy stabs at everyone who attends Comic-Con is the only time Zoe gets to be herself.  Keeping up her popular rep is too important, and she’s too damn insecure to care about the consequences.  She dates guys who only want one thing and can be found drinking and necking at the club to drown out the nerdy voices in her head.

But when Zoe gets plastered one night, almost stumbling into her first sexual experience with a guy twice her age, she realizes just how much her fake identity could hurt not only her, but everyone she cares about--including her next door neighbor Zak.

Zak’s a geek to the core, shunned by everyone in school for playing Dungeons and Dragons at lunch and wearing ‘Use the Force’ t-shirts.  But he knows Zoe--the real Zoe.  She’s drawn to him, only feeling happy when she’s by his side.  Only Zak doesn’t want fake Zoe.  He wants nerdy Zoe.

She has to shove her insecurities and the fear of dropping a few rungs on the social ladder aside to prove to Zak who she really is and who she wants to be… if she can figure it out herself.

First 250:

Rules of keeping up your popular rep: 

Number one, the shorter the skirt, the better. 

Number two, natural hair color is a thing of the past. 

Number three, high heels are an extension of your foot. To go without them would be like losing a toe. 

Number four, guys are disposable, and should never be used more than once or for an extended period of time. 

And number five, never ever reveal you collect Star Wars memorabilia, you know every line to Lord of the Rings, and you actually know the birthdates of all the Harry Potter cast members.

Yeah. I’m a total closeted nerd.

I'm not cool with pity glares in the hallways, painful jabs, and permanent scars.  No thanks.  It's much easier to keep my true nature hidden beneath layers of eyeliner, skimpy outfits, and even I must admit to myself, a rockin’ body.  Though the push up bras tend to do most of the work.

Welcome to high school.  Where everyone tries to be someone else.

Well… everyone except Zak.

Zakary Gibbons is my next door neighbor.  I blame him for my extreme nerdy behavior.  He was the one to introduce me to the awesomeness of the Elvish Language, the hidden mysteries of World of Warcraft, and the magical world that lies beyond Platform 9 ¾.  And for some strange reason, when we reached the age of fifteen, he didn’t understand that being accepted into the right cliques in high school was the most important thing.

51 comments:

  1. I love the beginning to this book. It totally sets the tone for the whole book. Gives you a great view of how Zoe thinks of herself and just a task of how cute Zak is. LOVE IT!

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  2. A book about a closet nerd is something I would love to read! Great idea! I hope to see this in book stores someday :)

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  3. Such an awesome voice! Great job Cassie :)

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    1. Thanks Hope! You're always my voice cheerleader, lol. :)

      And apparently exclamation points and smiley faces are my friends today. :) (There I go again, lol.)

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  4. I have to smile just reading this. Love me some Zak! :)

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    1. Nerdy boys can be sexy too, right? (I should know, I totally married one! Haha)

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  5. Ok - I LOVE this - the voice is fantastic! I want to read this right now!!!

    One thought though - I think you have a killer query right there in the first couple of paras of your opening, rather than the one you have above. It's fine - a basic, solid query, but if you were to open a query with those rules, I'd be totally hooked (though of course I'm no agent) - It gets right to the voice of the story, introduces your MC and the stakes, and makes us fall in love :) Of course, YMMV, but I could totally see it working!

    Great job!

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    1. Oh, thank you for your insights :)

      Super stoked you fell in love!

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    2. I totally thought the same thing as I was reading it. Plus, in your query you said "she wears practically nothing to show off her assets" and when I first read it, I thought she dressed down. Like she didn't want to show off her assets. Then I figured it out, but it did give me pause.

      Pretty much loved your 250 as well.

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  6. LOVE.IT! Beyond love it! You totally know this age group - the hows and whys of why it works the way it does. This is brilliant. I want to read it RIGHT NOW too! One day, when you're famous - don't forget me!!!! (I'm not kidding!)

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    1. I love your compliments Leigh cuz I totally idolize you! Thank you so much! *faints at computer* :)

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  7. I'm in love with Zak myself. Zoe can't have him!! lol:) Awesomesauce, fabulous work Cassie Mae :) xx

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    1. Love the awesomesauce! Thanks so much Jade! :)

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  8. Cassie,
    This is amazing! I would pick up this book in a heartbeat. The query was done very well, but I agree with the comments above that putting those rules in the query could replace the first paragraph. I think your voice is perfect and I liked your writing style and word choice- it hit a realistic tone while still sounding smart and snarky. I am confused though- is this your site?

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    1. Thanks so much Megan! And no, this is an awesome contest I got super lucky to be a part of :) There's another one next month too!

      Isn't Cupid awesome?? :)

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  9. This is fun. I love when quirky personalities shine through.

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  10. Dibs on FULL!
    Whoo, glad I got that in.
    I was sold on the title, then you totally delivered with beautiful voice. Also, I die over any Star Wars reference. And I'm pretty sure you might have plagerized your character from my life.

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    1. Oh my gosh! I wanted to come up with a cool Star Wars response, but I'm pretty much too full of 'squees!' to come up with a decent one.

      The best one I could was...

      Thank you Agent Vickie, you're my only hope.

      But that one kinda sucks, lol.

      Thank you!

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    2. Actually I'm on board with that one. Cuz it kinda makes me Obi Wan, and he's bad ass.

      May the force be with you!

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  11. Congrats Cassie!!! :)

    Just wait until Vickie gets to know Zak. Pretty sure she's gonna snuggle with the book ;)

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    1. Thanks!

      I totally just pictured someone snuggling with a book, like nuzzling it and giving it kissy faces, lol. I think I did that with Harry Potter... come to think of it. :)

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  12. Congrats on the request Cassie! The voice is amazing!

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  13. Fantastic voice and great premise. Congrats on the request! :)

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    1. More smiles and thank you's! You guys are pretty much everything awesome!

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  14. Well done, Cassie! And congrats on your full!

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    1. Thank you Emily! I don't think there's an emoticon big enough for the smile I wanna give you, lol. :D

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  15. Fun voice, great query, awesome 250! Love it! Congrats!!!

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    1. Thank you!!! Sending cyber chocolate to you :)

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  16. Congrats Cassie! Agent Vickie is obviously brilliant as are you! HUGS!

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  17. Wanted to drop in and say CONGRATS Cassie! And thanks for entering. It's a really fun concept and really strong/interesting writing! Nice voice!

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    1. Thank you Cupid! I hope I'm not flooding your inbox too much with all these comments. Apparently, I can't help myself but respond to all these awesome people.

      And thanks for running this awesomeness!!!! :)

      (Seems to be the word of the day, lol)

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  18. Oh, this sounds awesome!
    Congrats, Cassie!

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    1. Thanks Juliana! YOU are awesome! :)

      Why is that word so awesome? Lol

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  19. The beginning pulls you right in. Great job and congrats Cassie!!

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  20. I love this. It sounds so fun, and I think most of us can completely relate :) I would definitely read this.

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    1. Oh, fun is good :) Definitely a reaction I want :)

      Thanks!

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  21. Cassie, you ROCK!! Loved the query; loved the first 250!

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  22. Thanks Ali and Suzi!

    And everyone else! You guys make me feel so loved! Dude :)

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