Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Love Triangle Entry #21

Title: FRACTION OF STONE
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 65,000

Query:


There is only one among the Tarmack nation with the ability to wield magic, eighteen-year-old Rydan Gale. He lives like a prince, cherished for his talent to bend the fabric of the universe to his will. In the war against the Liasam, he is their ultimate weapon.

The Liasam have their own source of magic, but Akara’s mastery of her power is rudimentary at best. With a brilliant display of fire-rain Rydan’s side wins the war and Akara is sentenced to death. If there’s only one life taken after the slaughter on the battlefield, Rydan can live with that. Until he discovers the girl has the same symbol as he, tattooed on the back of her neck. Rydan must decide whether to betray his people and save the girl, or let Akara leave the world in a burning inferno.

For if she dies, the mystery of the tattoo and answers to a past shrouded in deceit go with her.

FRACTION OF STONE is told in alternating POV. Readers who relished in the lyrical writing of Laini Taylor’s DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE and immersed themselves in the contrasting world views of June and Day in Marie Lu’s LEGEND will find themselves drawn to this tale.

First 250:


The chains around her wrists jingled, echoing off the stone walls, a cheery sound out of place. If she closed her eyes and moved her arms again it would be as if she were listening to a wind chime, twittering in the breeze. But the cold metal was not a wind chime. It was a tether, a leash, holding her captive in the belly of her city. 

        
She could have called it her room, for it was where she slept, where she ate. The situation would seem more bleak once the drugs wore off, sending her into a depression of why she even bothered to live.
        

She had no choice, that was why. They needed her and refused to let her die. They kept her down there in an almost comatose state until it was time for her to work her magic.
        

Literally.
        

The cell swayed and whirled, like a small boat in the ocean. A state she was so used to it felt more real than normal. She never smiled. That had been stolen long ago. But if she did it would be in this dreamlike existence.
        

Scraping of the heavy wooden door down the hall caused her head to float up, searching for the person among the sea of swirling colors. The large blur was who she expected and though she knew she should feel something, she was unable to summon emotion.
        

“It is time again, girl. Your people need you.”

28 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Intrigue is good. Intrigue is very good. :)

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  2. You're so great at painting images! (Duh, Cassie... what else do you paint?) But really, I'm in the cell with her every time I read this. And that sound of the handcuffs still grates my teeth. Awesomeness... that's what this is. :)

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    1. Thank you Cassie! Just don't send me the dentist bill for your grated teeth ;)

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  3. Great job! You're writing is so beautiful :)

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  4. Every time I read the first 250 words I want to read the rest of the story all over again. The beginning is awesome but so is the middle and the end :)

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    1. Thank you Theresa! It's good to know people would like to read it again! :)

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  5. I love this beginning and I really can't wait to read this book!

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    1. Haha. Jenny. I'm trying girl. I'm trying! :)

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  6. This one really pulls me in~ I get such a horrible (in a well-written way :))sense of place, and feel like I'm in there with her! Nice work, Kelley!

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    1. Thank you Jess! Horrible (in this case) is good!

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  7. Wonderful, wonderful. I love it.

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  8. Replies
    1. Thank you so much Vickie! I can't seem to manage to wipe the grin off my face. :)

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  9. Love your query, Kelley! I'm hooked, I want to know what the tattoo is about! And such great writing! Congrats on the request! :D

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    1. Thank you Courtney!! I'm so, so excited!

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  10. Omgosh! Girl, you a rockstar!

    Congrats!!!!

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    1. Why thank you, thank you very much. (That was my attempt at being a Rockstar like Elvis...) Ha!

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  11. Love LOVE the last line. Great job!! CONGRATS!!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Cupid! And thank you SO MUCH for hosting this!

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  12. this definitely has the potential to be awesome.

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  13. I'm already totally attached to your MC from this, like I MUST know what happens to her. I hope this is published soon so I can find out.

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    1. Wow! Thank you Shell Flower! I will work as hard as I can to make your dream come true :)

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