Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Love Triangle Entry #9

Title: Time Bound
Genre: YA Paranormal Fantasy
Word Count: 70,000

Query:

If sixteen-year-old Holly Takada had known spending the summer in Japan would drop her right into the middle of a real-life-game of Dungeons and Dragons, she might have packed differently.

Holly expects her annual visit to her grandmother to be just another summer of boredom and sushi - until she meets local boy Tamashi, whose threadbare clothes and strange accent hide a mysterious past.  When Tamashi saves Holly from thugs at the market where he works, she jumps at the chance to get closer to him, hoping to unearth his secrets, and maybe a kiss or two. But none of the crazy plotlines in her favorite video games prepare her for what she discovers.

Tamashi isn’t human.

He’s a Time Dragon - the last of an ancient breed of dragons created to watch over Japan. But after being betrayed by the woman he loved, he’s been trapped in the body of a seventeen-year-old human boy for the last five hundred years. Even worse, the wizard who captured him is close to unlocking Tamashi’s powers – and he intends to use them to rewrite time. If Tamashi and Holly can’t stop him from completing his terrible vision of the future, he will erase their very existence from history. Too bad real life doesn’t have a Reload button, because failing now means Game Over.

TIME BOUND is told in three points of view, that spans several centuries of Japanese history. I like to think of it as Hourglass meets Silver Phoenix.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and have spent the last several years working as a Technical Writer and Marketing Specialist.

First 250:

There was nothing quite like the smell of fish to set the mood for a first date.

Holly stood at the edge of the farmer’s market and wrinkled her nose. Usually the scent of yuzu and fresh chestnuts spiced the air, but today was Wednesday. Fish day.

Not exactly the day she would have chosen to meet up with her crush, but evidently guys either didn’t mind the smell or didn’t pay attention to that sort of thing. She hitched up her ponytail and started to weave past tables covered with ice and slimy octopus. Fish mouths gaped at her, full of razor sharp teeth, but it was nothing compared to the looks some of the stooped old vendors shot her. They gawked as she passed, their quick judgment of her easy to read in their drawn brows and cold eyes.

Despite being half-Japanese, she was still an outsider. Though they were too polite to say anything, she knew what they were thinking. Hafu. Hapa. Half-breed. And now that she was back in Japan for another summer, she had to get used to the place all over again. It always felt so foreign, so alien to return, like stepping off a spinning merry-go-round and trying to stay upright. And the older she got, the longer she took to regain her balance.

“Buy a kimono!” one of the vendors shouted at her in Japanese. Holly shook her head and kept moving, skirting around tables full of oddly shaped vegetables.

19 comments:

  1. Lucky critique partner here to testify: This would be awesome enough if it was just historical Japanese scifi/time travel. But it's SO beautifully written to boot. GO TB GO!!!

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  2. I love this start so much. The descriptions are gorgeous and the setting so very well drawn. Anyone who has ever been to a busy market will recognize the feeling and Jamie adds a delicious Japanese sauce to it.

    Lucky CP here too, except that I haven't actually read TB yet! But based on these first 250, I cannot wait! <3

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  3. Ooh, this sounds so cool! I can already tell from the first 250 how beautiful and vivid the worldbuilding is!

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  4. I haven't read this yet, but oh do I want to!

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  5. Great descriptions. Love the concept--A time dragon--awesome.

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  6. Awesome start with the fish. My nose wrinkled, lol.

    And you had me at Dungeons and Dragons. ;)

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  7. Sounds really great! Hope I get to read it soon!

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  8. Time travel, dragons and Japanese history. I'm IN!

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  9. I feel like not only would this be an awesome story, but I might actually learn something. :)

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  10. I want to read this book. Period. *useless*

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    1. I bet she'd hook you up. It *is* gorgeous. And sexy. And badassed.
      (Why yes, I am starting a cover blurb business!)

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  11. Love the first paragraph of the query. Great first page too, you pulled me right in.

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  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  13. I like the new query. I want to read this!

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  14. Time travel and dragons, FWUAH this sounds awesome. I love the freshness added by the Japanese history. I'd love to see a partial. First 100 pages puhlease!

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    Replies
    1. Wow! I am so ecstatic! Thank you so much for the request - can't wait to send it over!

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  15. Congrats!!!!!! Great job!

    I also think the Japanese History is an awesome touch. :)

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  16. Woohooo!!!! Go TIME BOUND go!!!!

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  17. Wow - thank you so much to everyone for all the wonderful comments - this was such a great opportunity! And to Mr. Cusick and Ms. Motter for their time! And of course Cupid for the fantastic contest! I am in SUCH good company - SO impressed with all of the entries here - I can't wait till they're all on my bookshelf!

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