Sunday, February 5, 2012

Bouncer Post #5

Title: THE BURNED PLANET
Genre: Upper MG sci-fi
Word Count: 70,000

Query:

Chase Garrety only knows one thing about himself: Someone tried to kill him. He’s got the blaster wound on the back of his head to prove it. But everything else—his age (maybe thirteen?), where he came from, and how he got hurt—is a mystery.

When Chase turns up, dazed and bleeding, at a remote compound on the planet Trucon, he meets fourteen-year-old Parker, a hacking prodigy who’s grown up virtually alone there. Parker helps Chase get medical treatment, and then ridicules him for not knowing obvious things like what an android is, or how a food synthesizer works. Chase can’t wait to be rid of his new friend, but first he needs Parker’s help to track down his identity. 

The boys travel to Trucon’s moon to search for anything that could jog Chase's memory, and quickly find themselves being chased by soldiers from the Federal Fleet. But before they can run home, Trucon explodes into a scorching fireball, and the boys flee into space. Journeying through a galaxy shaken by chaos and corruption, Chase and Parker must rely on each other to survive as they track down the secrets of Chase's past, a path that leads them closer and closer to the truth behind the Trucon attack.

THE BURNED PLANET is a 70,000-word upper MG space adventure filled with alien ghettos, sentient jungles and double-crossing mercenaries. It is a buddy tale set in a space opera with a fast-paced, twisty plot--48 Hrs. crossed with Star Trek.

First 250:

The boy opened his eyes to a sky the color of melted butter and a sense of inexplicable terror.

He dragged in a lungful of air and sat up. The pain followed a second later, smacking the back of his head like a club. Everything swam around him in a blur. He grasped for simple information: where he was, how he’d gotten here. Why he hurt. Why he could barely see.

Nothing.

Shoving aside the dread that crept into his confusion, he pushed himself to one knee with a grunt. The muggy air seemed to vibrate, but he couldn’t tell if it was real, or if he was imagining it. He squinted hard enough to make out the grey shape of a nearby building, and something vast and green behind it. What was this place?

A hand landed on his shoulder. With a cry of surprise, he turned and saw a blurry someone crouched beside him. It took a moment to unscramble what the person was shouting.

“Who are you? How'd you get past the fence?”

Fence? He shook his head. Something had begun to rise in his chest, a bubble of vital information—what was it? His mouth worked silently, trying to pin down the words dancing at the edge of his tongue. The pain swelled, crowding everything else out, and he felt himself slipping away.

“Guide the star!” he blurted out, just before the blackness closed in.


6 comments:

  1. Being a sci-fi fan, I'd totally read on. Nice one!

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  2. Alexandra CampbellFebruary 6, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    Parker sounds like a very interesting character; what a friend to be thrown together with! Good luck!

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  3. Bouncer Blue NimbusFebruary 6, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    Frankly, your query is kind of a mess, but your first 250 are good, and I love to see MG for boys!

    "You're in," but if you end up back in the querying trenches, rework your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs.

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  4. Bouncer IheartbooksFebruary 6, 2012 at 6:17 PM

    All I had to see was MG Sci-fi...You're in! ;)

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  5. I saw a slightly different version of this over at Miss Snarks. Loved it then and love it now. Good luck.

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