Monday, January 28, 2013

Bouncer Post #99

Genre: YA Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 104,000


Seventeen-year-old April Fletcher is unaware she is living her twenty-first life.

April doesn’t know she has never survived to see her eighteenth birthday, nor does she realise that Scott Parker, her best friend, is actually her childhood sweetheart and fiancĂ© from her very first life. Sadly, April is also oblivious to the fact that whenever she dies, Scott is rendered immortal until she returns to him in her next life and confesses her love.

Scott Parker knows. He also knows that this time, things have changed. April has denied her feelings for him, is dating someone else, and with her eighteenth birthday fast approaching, their friendship is falling apart. Scott fears that this may be his last chance to win her heart and save her life.

Unfortunately, what Scott Parker doesn’t know is that none of April's deaths were accidental. There is someone else out there whose immortality is dependent on his soul mate's death.

And that person is dead set on living forever.

With a love affair that spans centuries, a paranormal predicament my hero can’t explain, and a murder mystery my heroine doesn’t even remember being a part of, I’m hoping my young adult paranormal romance novel, WAITING FOR APRIL, will be just what you’re looking for.

Written from the perspectives of both Scott and April, and complete at 104,000 words, it would appeal to fans of THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE, by Audrey Niffenegger, and the movie THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT. 

First 250:

If I could sleep, I’d dream it was 1729 again, and I’d save April Anne Fletcher. Perhaps if I’d saved her that day, I wouldn’t have had to watch her die another nineteen times since.

But there was no going back. No way to change the past. All I had was the future, and the determination not to lose her again. So while others slept, I searched for answers, and each morning I stood at my bedroom window, casting my gaze across the immature rows of Henry Brice’s cornfields to where the Fletchers’ house stood. The moments between sunrise and the opening of April’s bedroom curtain were some of the longest of my life.

And I’ve had a long life.

Henry’s footfalls grew closer as he hobbled down the hall. They stopped at my door, only to be replaced by the short, raspy breaths of a man who’d left his prime behind him many years ago. “Is she awake, Scott?”

I didn’t tear my eyes from her window. “I don’t know.”

Henry, my dearest friend since World War Two, had watched April die four times since 1949. He loved her dearly, and for the past seventeen years he’d filled the shoes of a grandfather figure. He treated her like family, and mourned each of her deaths as a beloved friend. With his life drawing to an end, it was his wish to see us reunited before he died.

“Maybe she’s sleeping in. It is her first day of spring break.”


  1. Wow. This is absolutely amazing. Awesome concept and great writing. I want to read it right now!

  2. This is a seriously cool concept and your first 250 really drew me in. Your query, however, left me a little confused.

    What do you mean with: "Sadly, April is also oblivious to the fact that whenever she dies, Scott is rendered immortal until she returns to him in her next life and confesses her love."? From your first 250, I gather that Scott is immortal, so do you mean that she *has* to fall in love with him in order to remain immortal? If that's the case, does he want to be immortal because it seems like if she does fall in love with him then he won't be. The stakes are in there but I think they're a bit muddled.

    Good luck!

  3. I love this concept! Your first 250 are so engaging -- especially love the offset line "And I've had a long life." Plus, I think this is different enough to stand out in the paranormal genre.

    Good luck! :)

  4. I agre that this is a great concept, but I find the query a bit confusing. Scott is immortal but doesn't age? Or he does age but restarts with her? And if he ends up with April he'll lose the immortality but that's what he wants? But someone else doesn't want that? I think you can smooth this out a bit.

    Opening paragraph ROCKS. Good job with that.

  5. This concept sounds very, very similar to Lauren Kate's Fallen series, minus the angels...but I could be wrong--I admit to being somewhat confused about what's actually happening. I like where you're going with the first paragraph, it's grabby. But also confusing--why would dreaming allow him to save April? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. I do like the fact that he can't sleep, that's intriguing

    Unfortunately, I struggled to follow after that. I suggest pushing the introduction of Henry back a few pages and give us all a little time to figure out who Scott and April are, first.

  6. This sounds like a really interesting concept and I love the first line of both your query and 250! I don't think you need the paragrah in your query that starts with "With..." Your story speaks for itself, you don't need to describe it.
    I also thought the 2nd paragraph of your 250 was a bit wordy and didn't sound like a male's voice. Would he say, for example, "casting my gaze"?
    Good luck with this!

  7. I totally agree with the others. This sounds like such a fun and exciting read!

    The query is a bit long through. Jenni made a great suggestion when she said to cut the paragragh starting "With...". I think it is unnecessary and the query is definitely strong enough to stand without it.

    I'd keep reading after the first 250 and I wanted to add that I love the idea of Henry and that he knows about April too!

    -Amber (#102)

  8. Thank you all so much for the kind words! And good luck to everyone! :D

  9. I really loved it. More than that, it moved me. You have great stakes and an excellent way of stating it. I can't think of anything to change. Best of luck.

  10. This is so enticing! I love it! I agree that the query is a bit confusing. It is so hard, isn't it? I feel there is too much information in the query. The concept alone makes me want to keep reading - so you have some room to play around with removing some of the details (which I know are so important to you!!) and just focus on the conflict and concept - both of which are amazing. Good luck! (I'm #90)