Title: WAITING FOR APRIL
Genre: YA Paranormal Romance
Word Count: 104,000
Query:
Seventeen-year-old April Fletcher
is unaware she is living her twenty-first life.
April doesn’t know she has never survived to see her eighteenth birthday, nor does she realise that Scott Parker, her best friend, is actually her childhood sweetheart and fiancĂ© from her very first life. Sadly, April is also oblivious to the fact that whenever she dies, Scott is rendered immortal until she returns to him in her next life and confesses her love.
Scott Parker knows. He also knows that this time, things have changed. April has denied her feelings for him, is dating someone else, and with her eighteenth birthday fast approaching, their friendship is falling apart. Scott fears that this may be his last chance to win her heart and save her life.
April doesn’t know she has never survived to see her eighteenth birthday, nor does she realise that Scott Parker, her best friend, is actually her childhood sweetheart and fiancĂ© from her very first life. Sadly, April is also oblivious to the fact that whenever she dies, Scott is rendered immortal until she returns to him in her next life and confesses her love.
Scott Parker knows. He also knows that this time, things have changed. April has denied her feelings for him, is dating someone else, and with her eighteenth birthday fast approaching, their friendship is falling apart. Scott fears that this may be his last chance to win her heart and save her life.
Unfortunately, what Scott Parker
doesn’t know is that none of April's deaths were accidental. There is someone else
out there whose immortality is dependent on his soul mate's death.
And that person is dead
set on living forever.
With a love affair that spans
centuries, a paranormal predicament my hero can’t explain, and a murder mystery
my heroine doesn’t even remember being a part of, I’m hoping my young adult
paranormal romance novel, WAITING FOR APRIL, will be just what you’re looking
for.
Written from the perspectives of
both Scott and April, and complete at 104,000 words, it would appeal to fans of
THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE, by Audrey Niffenegger, and the movie THE BUTTERFLY
EFFECT.
First 250:
If I could sleep, I’d dream it
was 1729 again, and I’d save April Anne Fletcher. Perhaps if I’d saved her that
day, I wouldn’t have had to watch her die another nineteen times since.
But there was no going back. No
way to change the past. All I had was the future, and the determination not to
lose her again. So while others slept, I searched for answers, and each morning
I stood at my bedroom window, casting my gaze across the immature rows of Henry
Brice’s cornfields to where the Fletchers’ house stood. The moments between
sunrise and the opening of April’s bedroom curtain were some of the longest of
my life.
And I’ve had a long life.
Henry’s footfalls grew closer as
he hobbled down the hall. They stopped at my door, only to be replaced by the
short, raspy breaths of a man who’d left his prime behind him many years ago.
“Is she awake, Scott?”
I didn’t tear my eyes from her
window. “I don’t know.”
Henry, my dearest friend since
World War Two, had watched April die four times since 1949. He loved her
dearly, and for the past seventeen years he’d filled the shoes of a grandfather
figure. He treated her like family, and mourned each of her deaths as a beloved
friend. With his life drawing to an end, it was his wish to see us reunited
before he died.
“Maybe she’s sleeping in. It is
her first day of spring break.”
Wow. This is absolutely amazing. Awesome concept and great writing. I want to read it right now!
ReplyDeleteThis is a seriously cool concept and your first 250 really drew me in. Your query, however, left me a little confused.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean with: "Sadly, April is also oblivious to the fact that whenever she dies, Scott is rendered immortal until she returns to him in her next life and confesses her love."? From your first 250, I gather that Scott is immortal, so do you mean that she *has* to fall in love with him in order to remain immortal? If that's the case, does he want to be immortal because it seems like if she does fall in love with him then he won't be. The stakes are in there but I think they're a bit muddled.
Good luck!
I love this concept! Your first 250 are so engaging -- especially love the offset line "And I've had a long life." Plus, I think this is different enough to stand out in the paranormal genre.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! :)
I agre that this is a great concept, but I find the query a bit confusing. Scott is immortal but doesn't age? Or he does age but restarts with her? And if he ends up with April he'll lose the immortality but that's what he wants? But someone else doesn't want that? I think you can smooth this out a bit.
ReplyDeleteOpening paragraph ROCKS. Good job with that.
This concept sounds very, very similar to Lauren Kate's Fallen series, minus the angels...but I could be wrong--I admit to being somewhat confused about what's actually happening. I like where you're going with the first paragraph, it's grabby. But also confusing--why would dreaming allow him to save April? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't. I do like the fact that he can't sleep, that's intriguing
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, I struggled to follow after that. I suggest pushing the introduction of Henry back a few pages and give us all a little time to figure out who Scott and April are, first.
This sounds like a really interesting concept and I love the first line of both your query and 250! I don't think you need the paragrah in your query that starts with "With..." Your story speaks for itself, you don't need to describe it.
ReplyDeleteI also thought the 2nd paragraph of your 250 was a bit wordy and didn't sound like a male's voice. Would he say, for example, "casting my gaze"?
Good luck with this!
I totally agree with the others. This sounds like such a fun and exciting read!
ReplyDeleteThe query is a bit long through. Jenni made a great suggestion when she said to cut the paragragh starting "With...". I think it is unnecessary and the query is definitely strong enough to stand without it.
I'd keep reading after the first 250 and I wanted to add that I love the idea of Henry and that he knows about April too!
-Amber (#102)
Thank you all so much for the kind words! And good luck to everyone! :D
ReplyDeleteI really loved it. More than that, it moved me. You have great stakes and an excellent way of stating it. I can't think of anything to change. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteThis is so enticing! I love it! I agree that the query is a bit confusing. It is so hard, isn't it? I feel there is too much information in the query. The concept alone makes me want to keep reading - so you have some room to play around with removing some of the details (which I know are so important to you!!) and just focus on the conflict and concept - both of which are amazing. Good luck! (I'm #90)
ReplyDelete