THE PROPER WAY TO SAY GOODBYE
Contemporary YA
Set-up: 18-year-old Chloe and her
girlfriend Sasha have just returned from visiting Chloe’s best friend, where
she revealed for the first time (to anyone) that she is gay and that Sasha is
her girlfriend. She and Sasha are sitting in her room, and it’s the first time
she will be sleeping in a bed with Sasha.
***
***
“Are you sure this is all right?” she asked. Her
tank top hugged her breasts, both exciting and terrifying me. I needed new
pajamas. Ratty t-shirts and shorts wouldn’t cut it anymore.
“Yes.”
“I promise to stay on my side.” Her grin
reassured me, and she tugged the hair band off one of her braids. Then the
second. She grabbed the braid to unwind it.
“Wait.” My mind spun a hundred different
directions. Would she think I was weird?
She didn’t say a word as I scooted over—my knees
barely touching her back. I took hold of one braid and slowly unwound it. Then
the second. The scent of Sasha—sweet peaches, filled my nose as I spread my
fingers through her silky hair like I’d always wanted to. I could sit like this
all night long but stopped, worried again she’d think I was strange.
Sasha twisted around and placed her hand on my
cheek. Her fingers burned a tender trail down to my chin, and I wanted to
freeze this moment, to gaze into her deep blue eyes forever.
Eyes that understood me. That accepted me. That
wanted me.
Her hand gripped my neck, and her lips welcomed
mine, making me feel like the only thing that mattered. Like I never wanted to
breathe so I could just drink in her lips.
When Sasha pulled back, her sigh resonated deep inside
me. Her fingers squeezed my knee, and even though she wore only a small smile,
her eyes said she was feeling everything I was.
She turned away, but I didn’t want this to end. I
pressed my body into hers, wrapping my arms around her waist and resting my
chin on her shoulder.
Her smooth hands caressed mine. Those first days
in class, I’d thought Sasha was perfect. She wasn’t. And I wasn’t either.
But this was… perfect.
“I love you, Chloe.”
Her words hung there, scaring me, but also
filling me with a happiness I’d never known. I wanted this—her—more than
anything, and I knew the words I would say were true.
“I love you too.”
"Those first days in class, I’d thought Sasha was perfect. She wasn’t. And I wasn’t either." I love this. So much connection lies in the realization of each other's flaws, and so much strength in accepting each other despite and even because of them!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Dahlia - that's probably my favorite part. But this whole scene is so sweet and focused and lyrical. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I agree with Dahlia! Love that line she quoted.
ReplyDeleteso sweet!
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have to agree about really loving that line Dahlia mentioned. Really makes it stand out. But I thought the entire thing was incredibly strong. Great writing! Great intensity! Great romance!
ReplyDeleteWell done! :)
Loved it, simple and perfect!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the nice words. I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI think that even though we all hope couples of EVERY COMBINATION get equal love and pages in the future, I'm still at the phase that when I see a scene with a "minority" pairing of any kind, I get excited. And I grow more and more happy for the cornucopia of individuals who will get to see themselves in the pages of a story like this one.
ReplyDeleteAside from that part, I want to also say that this scene is lovely. It is tense and timid and exciting and honest and beautiful. I loved it.
This is wonderful! There are some beautiful, quotable lines in there. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI love how the MC worries about being strange or weird. Those lines give the reader a taste of what it's like to be newly coming out. She still has insecurities about normal feelings that give this scene a bitter sweetness.
ReplyDelete