Title: HOW IT LOOKS
FROM HERE
Genre: Middle Grade
Contemporary
Word Count: 35,000
Query:
When twelve-year-old Becca and her ten-year-old
brother Johnny are uprooted from the tiny Polynesian island they’ve always
called home, they slam into much bigger challenges than figuring out who can
rip through steeper swells, who the next chief of the island should be, or
whose grades will be good enough to avoid the Captain’s wrath.
Having a white father and a Pacific Islander mother
was never a big deal for Becca or Johnny in Polynesia, but it matters a lot to
everyone in Arizona. Just when the siblings begin to figure out how to survive
their adventure in the desert, a death in the family forces them to re-evaluate
the importance of popularity.
HOW IT LOOKS FROM HERE is told from the alternating perspectives of
Becca and Johnny.
First 250:
I broke three of Quentin’s rules on my last day at
Lupelele Elementary. First: never disobey the Captain. Second: never fight a
girl. Third: never lose a fight to a girl. In twenty minutes, about how long it
would have taken me to run from one side of the island to the other, I pretty
much guaranteed that I’d be laughed at till I graduated from fifth grade.
After I’d cleared out my locker for the last time, I
headed across the playground to meet my sister. A crowd on the other side of
the courtyard was chanting in a rhythm that could only signal one thing: a
fight. We only had about two or three fights per year at our school, and the
last time one had broken out, I was grounded for two weeks—and I wasn’t even in
it. Quentin thought it was bad for the chief’s grandson to be connected to a
fight in any way. Even as a bystander. Stupid rules.
As the chanting grew louder, I weighed my potential
punishment against the thrill of seeing a fight up close. The decision took me
half a second. I threw my backpack down and ran toward the fight.
I elbowed my way toward the front of the crowd.
Faith, the biggest girl in the sixth grade, held down her unlucky opponent with
a knee between the girl’s shoulders.
What were the chances of a girl fight?
I worry there's not enough here to stand out. The writing is good, and I was liking the voice, but what's the hook here to make this jump off the page over other MG coming-of-age?
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