Sunday, February 10, 2013

Bouncer Post #173


Title: TROUBLE WITH THE WEEDS
Genre: Children's Chapter Book
Word Count: 4,000

Welcome to the garden town of Beddington, where the flowers are sweet and the Weeds breed trouble.  Best friends since they were seeds, Daisy and Rose are blooming for the first time.  Despite warnings from the Mums, Rose tries to fit in with the rule-breaking Weeds, intent on taking over the yard.  Daisy is torn between staying in the safe part of the garden or following Rose into the exciting unknown of the Weed patch.  But adventure brings risk, and soon the best friends will discover that real freedom comes with staying true to your roots.

First 250:

Rose woke up excited.  It was the day of the big race in her garden town.  She quickly washed her face with the dew that collected at night.  The Roly Poly brothers, Pete, Pauly, Parker, Perry, Patrick, and Porter worked hard all spring to build a racecourse to celebrate the first day of summer.  There were mounds of dirt along the track that made hills and dips all the way to the finish line.  After the race there would be picnics, games and the ant parade with an appearance by the Queen herself.  Rose wanted to be there early to get a good spot.

“I’m off to the race Mum!” she called. 
     
“Just a moment Rose,” said her Mum.  “Here’s your lunch and come straight home after the parade."
    
“Ok, thanks.” Rose hurried toward the crowd.  She found the perfect spot near the finish line then looked for Daisy.  Rose and Daisy had been best friends since they were seeds.
     
“Daisy! Daisy!  Over here!” Rose waved. 
    
Daisy found her way through all of the flowers, plants, and creatures of Beddington that were at the race.  She passed Gardenia, Petunia, Lily, a family of Clematis, and her cousin Gerber.
     
“This spot is perfect,” said Daisy.
    
“Isn’t it great?” exclaimed Rose.  “Who do you think will win?”
     
“I don’t know.  Porter’s the biggest, which helps going downhill, but I’ve seen Pauly practicing and he looks fast.” 
     
Rose felt the dirt shift under her as Grubbie’s head popped into view.  He was a kind worm, but easily scared.

24 comments:

  1. Adorable! Wonderful imagery, and I think this is a great concept for a children's book.

    Good luck to you :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This sounds like a fun and cute concept.
    I wish I had more to offer.
    Instead, I'll give some good luck. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take the good luck:)
      Thanks so much Mia!

      Delete
  3. First of all, thank you for the wonderful comment you left me. I appreciate it so much. And I remember your first five from the QT as well! :) Yay for QT! I think this is a fabulous concept, and I love how you have cleverly incorporated the garden and flower terms. Mum as the "mom" is fabulous! I would have loved this a kid. Roly polys were my favorite. Like the others before me, I don't really have any criticism, so I'll wish you the best of luck instead!

    -Adrianna #142

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I played with roly polys too...and hung lizards from my ears:)

      Thank you for the feedback and well wishes!

      Delete
  4. Really adorable. Don't have much else to say other than good luck! Amy (#168)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have a six year old and a three year old at home. The six year old is starting to read Chapter books and I think this sounds so adorable and perfect for her! I love all the names you used...LOL, Grubbie! Super cute concept and I would love read more...I may have my daughter read the first 250 to see what she thinks ;)

    Good luck! #160 (thanks for your comment on mine!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wanted to add that the moral of your story sounds like a great lesson. It seems that even little first graders have to decided between the temptation of being "cool" and sticking to the right type of friends. I'm looking for this when it hits the shelves :) Would be a perfect springtime/Easter gift when the time comes.

      Delete
  6. Thanks so much faith andrews! Your oldest daugther is my target audience:)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love the concept and think my children would've loved it

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love this and would so read it to my five-year-old son. Good luck and I really hope the bouncers pick you...this is too cute to pass up!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm so happy you like it Virginia! Thank you for saying that!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This sounds adorable! You're in!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Woo Hoo!

      Thank you - Thank you Bouncer Padfoot!

      Delete
  11. YAY!!! I love this, I was just about to comment and say I hope you get in, and... YOU ARE!!! So glad, I hope you get snatched up by one of those wonderful agents!

    This needs to be out there. (I'm buying it as soon as it hits the shelves.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I could already visualize the images. Great query! I'm sure we'll be seeing this on bookshelves soon. Congrats on making it in! :) #162

    ReplyDelete